Moving here from infidelity. H moved out April 13, almost 4 months ago. I think it has been hard for both of us to realize we are separated. I mean he has no problem pursuing or sleeping or even living with another woman, but I AM HIS WIFE.
Currently the story is that there is little no no contact with OW. I've heard that story before, even when he was living there. Maybe I believe it a little this time. Maybe I don't, maybe I have been this stupid everytime I was told that for the last 7 months.
It is wearing thin. I just want to move in some direction. In the entire time H has been gone he has had no plan(other than to try to convince OW to move to a house with him-he denies it). He slept at her house, he slept in his car, I allowed him to sleep on my couch for a week after magically when I discovered he was living at her house he had nowhere to go. For the last month he has lived at his parents.
I got a call last night at my house for him - from the low income co-operative housing. They would not leave a message and were quite rude when i asked what they wanted after I told them No Mr. White lives here. So I guess now he does have a plan.
If he moves there I worry about my daughter visiting. Last year an entire family was killed in one of the houses because of fire alarms not working due to the electric not being paid,. seeing as they are low income houses 2 of the other houses caught fire at the same time. Everyones kids are always out playing in the nearby area while the parents sit on the steps and smoke and drink.
Once again I sit in awe that this is what my H has chosen for his life. I really must be a prize that this is the better choice. We have a beautiful home and a lot of nice things. We had fun. We had a family.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
(((Snow White))) Welcome to the board, although under these circumstances it sucks.
If you don't mind my asking, did he move out because of the OW? And is he open to C?
There are plenty of people here that know where you are, and can give great advice. For now, find a mantra, and say it.
And breath...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
He says he did not move out cause of OW. For months claimed they were just friends, but I could not get over his one time infidelity in Dec. He said he was moving into a friends house a block over.
Trying to DB and drop the rope I made no effort to confirm where he was living for 7 weeks. During those weeks he would call to say goodnight to my daughter and come over for dinner 2 or 3 nights a week, take me to the movies, out on Sundays ect. But would always leave by 8:30 and never be available on his cell if I called after that point. When I got the phone bill everytime he called to say goodnight to his daughter it was from OW's town not mine. He denied, said he was working on our M.
Finally one morning I parked outside OW's house at 5:30 a.m. and waited for him to come out. He still claims he was not living there, just there sometimes, but following that he had nowhere to go - not the friend he was living with - nowhere. Then it happened a second time, he asked for my forgiveness, it was the biggest mistake of his life, wanted to work on the M go to counselling ect. For 3 more weeks we went through this, this time he came over every night, had dinner with us, came to my ball games ect. Then again I discover he is not staying where he said he was. Both times I confronted OW, she claimed to think that I was ok with everything nad I knew. BUT HE PARKED HE CAR 5 BLOCKS AWAY FROM HER HOUSE.
What finally was the last blow was her coming and reading my threads online, seeing me talking about not being sure if I could trust him when he was telling me he was coming home, and the worst the night I actually went out after finding him again with her and he broke into my house and destroyed a number of things because he was so jealous. She saw in the threads that he had pursued me for sex and he had been lying to her. So she ended it. He would be with her if he could.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Okay that may be true, but hes not. Sometimes it is not ours to question on why they are not with the OW, but to take comfort in the fact that they aren't anymore.
How did she manage to find your thread?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
She found it because he was complaining to her that I dissed him to people on this site. I have been posting since mid january. She looked it up and read and read.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
You know, after being through it, I cannot imagine why a woman would take another woman's husband.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
