Someone else ?

[buster80]

Right about now as we all struggle through our own relationship problems, I feel there has got to be at least 1 person on the Infidelity board who has weathered the storm and made it through. Is there anyone on here who has caught their spouse cheating, the WAS has moved out (or you have), the WAS has told you how much they despise you, regret being with you, never wants to see you again etc. and your situation turned around ? You were able to save your marriage and family even if you were already separated or divorced ? I could go to the Divorce Busted board and see some success stories, but I was wondering if anyone that I have seen post on the Infidelity threads that has had success. please share with us your light that you found in the tunnel's end.

[limbo]

Hi Buster,

I guess you would call my situation a success, sorry, after all this time I don’t know how to attach my threads.

Quick recap…..H told me Oct 06 that he had been having an affair with a coworker, I had no clue, at that time he said that he want the marriage….however he continued see ow, and slowly fell into a very deep depression.
He never moved out, but was not there and became very mean, trying to push me into telling him to leave…Jan 07 H leaves a note and says that basically he was going to kill himself, I have no idea where he was so had to call the police, they found him because he was on the phone with ow and were able to trap the cell signal! He is angry at me because I called the cops; he is taken to hospital but only held for a couple of hours.
He begins see a physiologist and seems to improve a little.
Feb 07 calls me on my way home from work tells me he is leaving, can’t do it anymore, needs space etc. I tell his family I have no clue this was coming, he had told them it was mutual decision…his mum refuses to let him stay, wants to come home, I ask is it for us, or because he needs a place, he says its for the place….I tell him no…next day calls and wants to work on things..So we began again, and seem to be working well on things…
July 07 we go away on a family vacation, the day after we are back he tells me he is leaving, he began seeing other women again about 6 weeks prior.
Again we talk, I basically tell him he needs to grow up and see it’s not all about him! He stays and we decide to go to the Retrouvaille weekend we do that in Sept and this seems to be the turning point.
However in Oct I find he has been in contact with an old girlfriend from about 20 yrs prior when they were 18 or so…..he tells her he thinks they are soul mates and if she asked he would be on the next plane as she lives some distance away….again huge blow out, but we continue with our retro, and it seems to get us past this.
So today, we are still working, although I am now finding it very hard, I think that I have been shut down emotionally for so long, that I am finding it hard to come out and let him in…so yes we are still together, and he is trying so hard.
I am in counseling now, trying to work through this…it will be a long road, and it will be hard work, but it can be done!