Hi Matt, The weekend away was great, but too short. We were able to relax, took a long bike ride, went out to dinner- all the things that are so hard to do at home. I highly recommend it to all piecers.
It was also easy to not think about "the issues" when we were off having fun. Of course, at home all of the things we need to work on were still there, waiting for us. I've been up and down alot lately, mostly finding it hard to trust and getting annoyed at h's lack of motivation to do anything. There are good points too. I know he really wants to be at home and I'm so grateful for that.
So, Matt, when are you going to post an update about yourself? How are YOU doing?
(((na))) I am so sorry you are feeling down. I know piecing has to be hard. So what's happening? Are you still in C?
My H and I are starting to talk about living together again. I know he isn't ready but maybe if we keep talking about it, that will help him move in that direction. I know the thought of it scares me too especially when I see how difficult it is for others.
Hopefully you can try to refocus on the positives. You have always been so good at that.
Hang in there and keep working on making things better.
Thanks Upside. It's nice to know that there are a couple of you who check in on me. I'm feeling my DBing circle on here shrinking and sometimes I really need the support. So, thank you again.
I'm so glad things are looking up for you and your h!
I have been feeling better the last couple of days. Some days I am just ruled by my hormones! Also, I have been trying to think positive again. I have gotten off track a bit, not focusing on myself, just trying to push through the days.
We have been going to C every 3 weeks or so, which I know is not often enough It's hard to fit it into our schedules (mainly his). We went last week and I was very disappointed. H spent so much time talking about minutia (sp?) having to do with some of the house projects he's been putting off. I think he's avoiding talking about the big issues. We discussed it after the C session and he agreed that we need to make better use of our time there. I'm tired of feeling like I'm wasting my time and money on C.
We also talked about reading the 5 LL book together. I'm re-reading it now and I'd like for him to read it too. He said he would. We'll see.
I am glad you are feeling better. I understand what you mean about the hormones. I always used to think that hormones didn't really effect me but I am starting to believe that they do. I have been a little more emotional the last couple of days.
Are you and your H talking about relationship stuff outside of C? C should be helping you and your H have healthy discussions outside of C. Do you think it would help if you made a list of things you wanted to discuss in C so you don't spend your time talking about minutia?
Let me know if you get anything out of the 5 LL's. I bought the book and loaned it to a friend before I read the whole thing. I never got it back. I was thinking about getting another copy...but then again, the way I feeling a the moment, there is no reason.
N_A, I hope you are doing o.k. I can feel your stress coming through in your posts and I completely can relate to you.
We are both trying hard to piece with H's that seem to be not meeting our needs. I often wonder how long I can live this way when I am always being rejected, blown off, & sometimes even put down by him. I know that most the things my H does would be completely out of the ? in most wifes minds and they wouldnt stand for it. I used to never stand for it, I would certainly voice my opinion before he left me. But now after all this terrible ordeal, I am too scared to ever really let him know what I think or how I feel.
I have been really stressing over things lately too. I get very emotional this time of the month due to those hormones you were referring too. I am at least aware of it, and try not to let it control me or my feelings. Sometimes, It does though.
I am here for you. I feel for you. And I can relate to your Sitch. I am still being patient - but I dont know how long it will be before I blow. TIPPER
I've been feeling better the past week or so. I have switched back to my old AD, after trying another one, so I think that has helped.
Also, h seems to be making a real effort to do more around the house, which really makes me feel better. I am heaping the praise on when that happens!
I want to get back to posting positives, so here are a few:
1. H worked out a payment plan for one of his biggest credit card debts.
2. The calls from the collection agencies have stopped!
3. H is contributing much more to the household bills.
4. After 6 months of waiting, h installed our new sink and faucet in our bathroom. I really hated the old sink/faucet, so it makes me glad whenever I use the new sink.
5. We've been able to share our frustrations on a few issues without getting angry.
I am glad you have so many positives and I like that way of thinking.
Here are a few of my positives: 1- H spent a lot of this week and weekend with me and tried to comfort me when I got food poisoning. 2- H has been helping with chores around the house since he is here so often instead of at his apartment. 3- He mentioned that he dropped off a resume the other day so he can find some winter work. He gets slow in his const. buisness and depressed in the winter so this would be really good for him.
Hi na- I am so glad that things are better and you are back to looking for those positives. I have heard that the first year of piecing can be very difficult and you have made it halfway through...hooray for you!!! I hope that things will just continually get better for you from now on...BUT be prepared for those pot holes in the road because there are bound to be a few.
you.