Found the doggie's home.. <sniff> I was really falling for him but glad he's with his family. I'm their on-call "dogsitter" though so I'll see him again. (and, they were hinting at a new home AND H misses him so.. maybe)
Still thinking about the rest, will reply more soon!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I would definitely vote for letting him say ILY first. The pressure of him having to say it after you do, versus the pressure he has wondering when he should say it is worse.
My H said it to me, and I know it's going to take your H longer. Everything took longer for him! lol so just wait, it'll happen. plus, he did put on his ring that one day before you did right?
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I had a very similar incident with a dog just last week! Although I've never heard of the spca, so I tried to call all these numbers and couldn't get anyone. I ended up taking him to the humane society. No collar either, and was on a major intersection, I almost ran over him! Hopefully someone took him or found him. Guess you went over and beyond by letting him in with your dog! I'm always overly cautious, but then I guess I shouldn't take strays with the kids.
I bet the reason your H started thinking about keeping the dog because you were not trying to, and you were talking about the spca and stuff. it's that reverse psychology!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Finally catching up! Thanks all for your thoughts.
I'm still missing the doggie. How silly is that? He was really a sweetie though! I have to finish up the story of how he got home, it was crazy and funny. This is a long dog story so if you're not into dog stories feel free to skip this post entirely... I'll do a new one that's not doggie-related.
I got home Tuesday night and went to see if Dog was still there (and if he had thrashed the yard or not ). Yard looks fine, and I see Dog sitting in a nice shady spot just relaxing. Whew! I walked over to him expecting him to get skittish again but nope - he looked up at me, blinked a few times, then rolled over on his back for belly rubs - Awwww!!!
Then he and my dog walked around the yard together sniffing and peeing on stuff. Considering how my dog is with most others, it was great to see her just "hanging out" with him. They both kept doing cute stuff to get my attention too. I let them wander for about 20 minutes then locked my dog in the house so she wouldn't see me taking OD ("other dog") for a "walk." Took the leash out to get Dog to take him to the vet and see if he was microchipped thinking - not knowing if he was leash trained, how he did in the car, etc.
He rolled over and put his paw up by his collar like "Here's where the leash goes in case you didn't know". Put the leash on, and he heeled all the way to the car. Woah!! My dog's a horrible "puller" on the leash (I know, my fault and a training issue) - but it was a nice change. Open the car door and he hops right in, gets in the back seat, and puts his nose on the window like "OK time to roll it down now." Soooo cute. So we took a couple mile ride to the vet, they scan him, and... beeeeep.
I have to admit my heart sunk a little bit. Sheesh how did he worm his way in there so quick??? The vet called the chip place and then his owner and I could actually hear the lady on the other end of the phone crying and saying "We thought he was gone!", so that made it a little better. I talked to her for about 10 minutes and she kept thanking me in between tears.
She actually lives out of town, but her H lives right around the corner from me (I didn't ask.. it was confusing!). Dog recently had to move from her house to her H's with her H and their two young boys. Boys got the dog all riled up I guess, and he bolted out of the yard the night before. THEN - she tells me that her H is actually coming up to visit for a few days and do I dogsit? I said "Not usually but for this dog, sure!" She asked me to keep him for a few days and if I'd mind watching him every so often... no problem!
Turns out he's a Jack Russell (explains a lot!) and Pomeranian mix - a "Jackaranian" - CUTE mix! He looks just the first dog on this page: http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/j/jackaranian.htm
Then she tells me his name.. HAVOC! Uh oh. She said it's because her kids get him so riled up that he just gets crazy, like the running around he did in our yard the night before. Ok.. not so bad. We exchanged info and I headed for home, with the plan that she'd call me there and let me know how long he'd be visiting with us, exactly where they lived, etc. I knew they were nearby but didn't get a specific address yet.
We walk in the door... I shut the screen, latch it, let Delta (my dog) out, and take off Havoc's leash. They run around the house for a minute. Then I hear a tap on the screen door and I RUSH to get there, it just didn't sound right. Got there in time to see Havoc coming down from a jump (where he had smacked the door with his paw and unlatched it). He threw the door open (this is only a 20 lb. dog!), and disappeared. The damn dog runs so fast, I never even caught a glimpse of him after that, I saw him fly out the door, and he was GONE.
OMG... all I could think was that his owner was supposed to call me, the one I just talked to for 10 minutes about how much she loves this dog and was afraid he was gone, the one I just reassured he'd be safe at my house for a few days.. and now I have to tell her he's gone again?
I was about in tears but figured I better do what I can, so I grabbed the treats that I lured him with the night before, and a leash, and started walking the neighborhood. About a half block away I caught a glimpse of his legs underneath a car. YES!! Then a group of kids on bikes rode by him, and I saw a brown flash streak across the street. I swear this dog has motion blur when he runs, you can't even keep your eyes on him! Darn it! The direction he went was a dead-end street so I was glad for that.
The kids were really little - maybe ages 4-6? But I asked anyway if they saw where the brown dog went. All 4 kids pointed a different direction but too. Then the littlest one got ALL excited and pointed and said "He's there!" It was a cat. I swear I felt like I was in a sit-com! Now all 4 kids want to "help" me find the dog. I'm thinking he's really not gonna respond well to an army of kids plus me, but it was better than not looking for him at all. We go the direction I thought I saw him take off, no sign of him. I was totally puzzled because there weren't THAT many places he could go, started wondering if he went back to my house, or what.
Then one of the kids asks me to describe the dog again. And he says "That's MY dog! Why are you trying to take my dog? Who are you??" I explained that it wasn't MY dog, that I had found it and was watching it and the dog's "mommy" had asked me to watch him for a few days. Of course it doesn't occur to me that it might actually BE this kid's dog because I thought they were out of town. Duh.. finally after a few minutes I'm thinking logically again and ask if I can see his dog. He looked skeptical but finally said yes. Another duh moment.. he walks into the house, calls "Haaavoccc!" (I should've just asked what his dog's name was!), and then brings out, you guessed it, Dog/Havoc.
Apparently, they hadn't left to go out of town yet, because they were printing up "Lost" flyers to put around the neighborhood. And the wife hadn't reached the husband yet to tell him Havoc was found. So the dog literally rocketed from my house to their house, raced inside their garage door, and they had no idea where he'd been or how he got there. Meanwhile I spent half an hour looking for a "lost" dog that had already gone home.
The kid brought his Dad out, who thanked me profusely, then we pieced together what had happened with Havoc. Had a good laugh over the fact that he went a few miles to and from the vet only to run home which was 3 houses away. In fact their street is perpendicular to ours, so the back corners of our yards actually touch! They just moved in a few weeks ago and I gotta say, these kids are really, REALLY hyper. H and I will be in the backyard and hear them screaming and fighting and playing for HOURS and think "They have GOT to get tired eventually!" So I can totally see why the dog goes bonkers.
H and I decided Havoc probably came to our house for a vacation! It was pretty funny picturing him laying there enjoying the nice shady quiet spot in the grass, while literally 15' behind him "his" kids were going bonkers. He was probably thinking "Ahhh now this is the life." I'm sure he likes it for awhile but I can see why he'd need a break!
The husband seemed less fond of the dog than his wife did, and said he's a real handful with two little kids (I bet!!). The wife adores the dog but not the situation he's in - small house, two hyper kids who forget to close doors all the way, husband who's not as enamored with the dog. For some reason that I didn't totally understand the dog can't live with her. Basically, they were both hinting a bit that the dog wasn't in the best situation. So when she calls and asks me to dogsit I'm going to casually mention to her that we really loved Havoc and if he ever gets to be too much for them....
We'll see what happens... it'd be really sad to find out the husband got fed up with him and took him to the shelter or something, so I at least want to make the offer.
OK that was my way too long doggie story.
ST - just saw yours, too. Wow!! I don't blame you not taking strays with the kids. I was always the kid who brought home the dog I found wandering the streets too, so I think I got used to it young. Hope your "found" doggie made his way home, too.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Trixi Thanks for the Mummy warning. Our schedules still haven't synched up - by the time they do it may not be in the theater anymore! Maybe we'll rent it. Except she's really into the special effects so that might not work as well.
Michelle Thanks. Hope you made it to the fair! We're out of town this weekend but we'll go next week/weekend probably.
On the ILYs -
OT, Jak, Trixi, Michelle, ST - thank you for your thoughts!
Quote:
Why don't you give H the chance to say ILY first?
I should have clarified the current "ILY Status." (what? you guys don't read every word and remember all the details of my life over the last 5 months?? )
It wouldn't be the "first" ILY. He's said it VERY sporadically. The first since last October's bomb was after my Grandma died in April. I wouldn't exactly call this a "romantic" ILY.. I was hurting and I think he didn't know what else to say. Nothing wrong with that and I appreciated it! Just saying I understand it's not quite the same.
He has said it a few times in the context of "I love you too much for..." [xyz to happen] For example when I almost inhaled water at that pool party, "I love you too much to lose you..." Or even less serious situations - "I love you too much to make you do the dishes when you're sick." Maybe 3-4 of those in the last month or so.
Or, he'll make a smart-a$$ joking comment: H: Smoke alarm's going off, dinner must be ready! (joke between us) Me: WHAT did you just say? (grinning) H: I said I love you Babe! (sappy tone, with a big overly- mushy hug and kiss too)
He's said it when we're falling asleep once or twice.
I've returned some of the ILYs - the ones that were "ILY" - and I reply back to the smart-a$$ ones in a similarly jokey tone "ohhh yeah SUUUURE you do... ILY too.."
We haven't had that deep, serious sounding ILY (other than the Grandma one, but again I know that was kinda different). That one if it happens I totally agree I should leave "open" for H, along the lines of what you were saying, OT.
I was thinking more of the sending each other off to work, ending phone calls, types of things. i.e. right now it's usually a kiss, "hope you have a good day, see you tonight" send-off for work. Should I try throwing in an "ILY and hope you have a good day, see you tonight".... ?? Or is it too soon?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
I was gonna journal more about this week but I have gone on wayyyy too long already so I'll shush now.
Out of town racing this weekend. It's not actually racing but more of a "fun run" - which means I get to ride in the car this time. Woo hoo!! I am excited, I've missed that.
Catch up with everyone on Monday. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Since he's said it that many times, I don't think it's a big deal to say it. Just try it once and see what he does.
On the dog story, that is the craziest dog story ever! How incredibly ironic, and all I kept thinking during the whole story is how God planned for you to meet his W because obviously something is wrong if they're not living together. seems pretty weird to me, unless they are trying to sell a house and she still works near the home, but still, why wouldn't you live together ???? Perhaps you'll have a chance to help save another M!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
It sounds like you're doing so great. I really appreciated your feedback on my thread, and I was hoping you could pop in there when you get a moment and give me some more feedback on my latest. I haven't figured out the linking thing yet (wait let me try this...)
Michelle Did you make it to the fair yet? I think we'll be on trip #4 or 5 this weekend. I'm a fair freak..what can I say?? I am somehow proud and yet embarassed to admit we even saw Jessica singing "These Boots Are Made for Walkin"...
ST No worries! I was kidding as you know.
It's funny I thought it'd be "easy" to throw in some "semi-ILY's" like I mentioned but I haven't been able to, at least yet. I know this is totally me guessing but I swear every time I think "mm sleepy g'bye H have a good day" he acts great... when I even THINK "g'bye H ILY have a good day.." he gets grumpy. So maybe not time yet.. or maybe I'm too sensitive, but either way, maybe not QUITE yet.
I was feeling down about the M earlier this week but tonight coming home he was mowing the lawn and flashed me both a huge smile and his ring... then stopped the mower to kiss me. (and no sayin' what else got flashed..)
I am so with you on the "other M" thing! I seriously keep hoping Havoc will show back up at my house (the dog, not actual havoc!).. partly cuz I kinda fell for the dog, and mostly cuz I want to help (if I can) with the sitch. Nothing so far but if nothing else I've proved I'm patient, right??
Doc LOve Long time no see/hear - great to hear from you! Thanks. And congrats to how well everything is going for you.
-------------- We've had a fun week so far. Monday I had off for vaca (I can barely use up my vaca befofe I cap out). so I often have days off when he doesn't. Halfway through Monday he texted about going to the fair - yeah!! We had fun.
I was kinda beeyotchy on Tues and Weds (tonight).. WHY?? I think I'm a bit afraid, too. Working on that.
Thanks again all... sooo appreciate your advice and support.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
(and, they were hinting at a new home AND H misses him so.. maybe)
). Yard looks fine, and I see Dog sitting in a nice shady spot just relaxing. Whew! I walked over to him expecting him to get skittish again but nope - he looked up at me, blinked a few times, then rolled over on his back for belly rubs - Awwww!!! 
but 
Meanwhile I spent half an hour looking for a "lost" dog that had already gone home.
