Experienced the horrors and pain of my wife and her 5 month affair three years ago and averted divorce thanks to DB. BUT, made a deadly mistake in not seeking marriage counseling afterward. So things have drifted and are apparently on the rocks since W announced twice in last 4 months that she doesn't think she can continue in this relationship and that she's thinking of leaving.
At this time, I am going into gear with further DB steps. Question, Should I ask her to go to MC? Why do you think she is so tentative. Some friends have speculated that if she was really pi$$ed off she'd have been out the door (with our three kids) along time ago. Is it that she doesn't really want to go? She still tells me she loves me, still kisses and hugs me, still likes to sit and have coffee in the morning, etc.
I do take her comments, etc. VERY seriously and I'm not willing to take chances, just curious about her state of mind.
A marriage is ALWAYS a work in progress. It takes constant upkeep to keep it alive. Do things that promote loving and you will feel loving. Don't, and it will atrophy.
Also, if she's unwilling to meet halfway...it doesn't matter how much you work at it. She has to want to make it work...even just a little bit.
I've had to adopt the attitude that "I'd like her to be my wife, but I don't NEED her to be my wife." There are plenty of beautiful women out there...fish in the sea as they say.
M 37 W 35 S 5, D 3 M 15 yrs Bomb dropped 6/1/2008 My Sitch
Rep, When I asked my wife said no. Its there party Bro... we're just along for the ride. Has she given you "the speech" yet? If not there might be still time. You might want to check into something called Retrouvaille. Its a very good faith based counseling service. It has helped a lot of people and may help you guys. Id ask.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
