She text me at 12:30 PM today. Are you watching the kids while I work. I text back yes. She responds 20 minutes later ok.
She called today at 2. Kids don't want to leave her parents they stayed overnight. I asked if she went out last night.
She wouldn't say. She sounded all frazzled and miserable.
I said the deal was to bring the kids, bring them before you go to work. She says well your daughter wants to stay. No, you make them go with you.
Ok, well I gotta go. She sounds like she is in the crazy venom stage. I said wait. She says... What Ok, I'll bring them to you. I said you don't have to be all mean. I'm not. Ok. I'll talk to you later.
OK, I should not have asked if she went out last night.
Two, I should have never have taken that phone call at 2.
I felt down today. Woke up and all I could think about was her. Then I had to go to the store to get things I would normaly never get. She always took care of that stuff.
I can home and cried. I prayed. Then the 2 o'clock phone call.
Then I cried and prayed some more.
I called my Aunt she made me feel better.
Cleaning this house. I have a paper due tonight for school. I'm so overwelmed sometimes.
Well she droppd the kids off. Right at that moment my neighbor came to the door. His kids busted out my tail light in my truck. I blew him off. I said ok I'll talk to you later. He couldn't have came at such a bad time.
Wife gets out. My cousin is here. He kids are here. My wife gets out and goes in the house. I stay out side. I don't follow. She is in there for ahwile. I like how she can just waltz in and do what she wants.
Then she comes out. My cousin gives her the business about stuff. He wants free ice cream, etc. You know joking around. Then she flips him off. She said that is for all of you. I'm guessing she is including the kids. I said that isn't necessary to treat me that way. She says Oh Phil I'm just joking. I said well I don't think it is funny.
Put it this way. She bailed. Her kids were waiting for her. She text at 12.
I should have just not even responded. I tried calling. Just tell me what is going on. She doesn't answer.
Comes down to this. She is talking to someone.
I'm really out.
When she shows up at 20 to 1. I express my concerns. She says I'm the bad dad. I don't even call to see how the kids are doing.
I state: Sorry. I'm leaving you alone. I told them kids to call me all the time. They never do. I don't need to check on them every hour. If they are with you I know they are fine.
She throws it in my face that I was only with the kids for 12 hours. I like the single life. I don't care. You think I'm the bad mom and you call me a wh0re when I go out.
Sorry I never called you that.
Oh that is right you call me a C. No sorry I did that the other day and I apologized for that. I was trying to get a schedule with you to avoid nights like tonight.
In the driveway. She is in the car. I kiss the kids. She will not even roll down her window. It's 3/4. I tell her. I just want you to come home. She says. Right you just want me to come home. You don't care about the kids.
No (her name) I want my family home. I want my F'n family home. She pulls away. The only thing I can do is shake my head.
Then I text her about a half hour later. I still want to be married. I love you. I love you kids.
I tell her. I just want you to come home. She says. Right you just want e to come home. You don't care about the kids.
That is a map Phil. She is telling you that it is about more than simply you and her. It is about what kind of father you are. That she needs a partner to parent with. Seeing that she is not very good with rules and guidelines for the kids, I would even say that she needs a partner who will take control and lead the parenting.
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No (her name) I want my family home. I want my F'n family home. She pulls away. The only thing I can do is shake my head.
Then I text her about a half hour later. I still want to be married. I love you. I love you kids.
Phil, this is pursuit and begging and it is not working. You have to stop saying this kind of stuff. You are putting to much pressure on her with this kind of talk. No more I love you's unless she asks you if you do. No more I want you home, unless she asks if you do. No more I want to be married, unless she asks you if you want to. You have to stop.
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Prayer isn't working.
It's not the prayer that is not working Phil. Keep praying, it is for God to decide the time frame, not you.
