Who Should We Be Helping

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Experienced DBers (and even those inexperienced ones with insights and help to offer):

I think we all need to pause today and consider with whom we are spending our precious time and resources. Looking across the main page of just the Newcomers, Infidelity, MLC and "We're Separted -- Now What?" forums, I see person after person after person in pain.

Polite, earnest people who are getting little to no replies to their threads.

I'm going to do my damnedest to get around to as many as I can over the weekend. I'd like the rest of you guys to consider doing the same. Far too much time and energy is being spent on people who, frankly, aren't listening, don't WANT to listen, and are downright rude. Or who listen politely, then don't take the advice and just keep making the same mistakes over and over again and show no willingness to do what needs to be done.

Off of soapbox now.

Peace,

Puppy

[JAK58]

Puppy you are right.

JAK

[Hope4us]

I agree Pup. I've been not too good of friend lately because I'm wrapped up so much in my sitch. I'll do what I can.

Not that I'm not thinking about everyone. I am. But sometimes I just get so narrow minded in my focus....

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Anyone who has some time to stop by and help/encourage this poster, I'd sure appreciate it. He sounds like he's literally at the end of his rope, and I'm concerned about him:

Mycroft69 Could Use Some HELP

thanks,

Puppy

[goldeylox]

Puppy, pick me! Pick me!
After a year of he!!, things are finally looking up. Slowly. This community has helped me open my eyes and make some sorely needed changes. I now see how my actions have hurt those I care about. Thankfully, it wasn't too late. Plus, once in a great while, I'm able to offer something back.
So bring on the 2x4's, I'm ready to do work! Peace.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1516497

[Not Much Left]

PDT
I wanted to post my sitch to you after a recommendation from Warm & Sunny and would love some advice.

I had been on the boards for a long time, April 07 - roughly March of this year.

Quick recap of me...
Me 45
W 38
M 14 yrs
4 kids, 6,8,10,12
S 3.07
Separated 3 times before that, basically every 2 yrs for the last 6 yrs.
D Papers filed by her 11.07
She has asked me for an agreement before going to lawyers since we had an intitial talk 2.08....first sign of any emotion from her when I went over all the numbers.
SHe has never worked in our M and for past 2+yrs had a full time maid. Maid is now down to 2 days per week vs. my objection to not having her at all.
No affairs, just a lot of yelling on my part.
W is VERY closed off, does not initiate conversations about herself, never has and the only real initiation of anything were when she asked me out originally and the 4 times she asked me to leave.
I have been out of the house (but there a lot over the past year+ and recently purchased my own house nearby wherein she agreed to sign the docs to allow me to do so.

We have not had sex since this all happened, the preverbial "switch" was flipped. However, when I spent time at night there putting kids to bed, we usually watched some TV together and ended almost every night w/ back rubs? Now that has stopped as I have my own place.

THis woman, who basically did nohting to help me around the house when I was there, is now, predictably "superwoman" doing everything and working out every day.

Her big issue with me was "he controls me...he wants to control who my friends are and what I wear" Well, not true as I never deliberately said no to anything,just made comments that I did not approve of certain things. SHe is a VERY attractive woman so you get the picture.

So, I would still like things to work out, yet I am at a loss to figure out what to do next. Other than moving into my own house and now having the kids, which I see is affecting her a bit, and not having me there to "carry the anger" around for both of us, I dont know how I can "stop the bleeding" financially as she still spends whatever she wants and I am now paying for 2 houses and all her clothes and nights out.

Let me know what you think,again, you come highly recommended from W&S.

C

[Sugar and Spice]

Puppy could you drop by my sitch and give me some advice on how to proceed? Thanks

[JimiHendrix]

I appreciated the advice you gave me and would love to hear from you again regarding my most recent update to my thread.

I am in need of a bit of objective opinion.

[karen43]

Um, Puppy, are you busy lately??? Just kidding, my dream is that you develop a problem or crisis that I can help you with!!! Sweet! As if I could though!!! Well I could give you virtual hugs or something.... Karen

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You dream about me???