Now that the turmoil of rearranging our living situations is wearing off, and she is about to start an exciting new adventure in her own life, I realize that I am left here to still live my own. Right now if a magic genie in a bottle snapped his fingers and fixed all of our problems and made her love me again, we would still be facing a long distance R with both of us in highly stressful situations.
We are making progress and baby steps are adding up. This is really in her hands now to change the things she does not like about herself to become the better W she wanted to be at one point. With respect to that my only job is to support her ventures in school and hold out as her friend.
I have been DBing and doing GAL activities for a while now, but all the rearranging really set me back. This weekend was the first time in a while I enjoyed my self. Sitting with my buddies after a dive drinking a cold beer, and listening to Jimmy Buffet almost made me cry because I was not sad (if that makes any sense)
My professional life is incredible right now and I think I can now make my personal life without her more fun too. She seemed to feel that she was missing out after hearing about my weekend and that’s not a bad thing. I would never do things to make her feel that way, but we use to have a blast together and I stopped a lot of that because she was not there. I am going to get back to it now, and she can come when she is ready.
The last two weeks I have let the pain and sorrow make me feel that I am ready to give up and be done. I think I now realize its time to just be done with the pain and sorrow. Give that up. Be happy for her in her new adventure, share in it when ever she left me, but make my own adventures as well. Most importantly is not be so bummed that I over look all of the baby steps that are happening right in front of me.
I have learned short term patience, but now I have at best three years of living 4 hours apart so its time to learn the real meaning of the word.
Last edited by JWS; 07/21/0804:51 PM.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
wow JWS- sounds like you have gotten some clarity..i know what you mean about crying for happinesss (or at least not sadness)..its a very hard time fo ryou but you are creating the life you want and recreating the person you want to be.
patience- a whole new meaning is right...only you will know the answser...
baby steps are very important and not to be overlooked...you really are doing great!
can i ask how you make your links show up with a name like you did above?
thanks
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I just learned the link thing. you have to hit reply and not use the little quick reply window, then the little boxes where you can add or boldthings the far left one, looks like the world with a paper clip. Click that at it will ask you for the address then after that it asks you for the text, and then it shows up as the text made into a hyper link. Pretty cool!!
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
That all sounds really good about the weekend, I'm so glad you went diving and had a great time with your mates. You'll have to plan more now you've got the taste!
Would it really have to be a long distance relationship? Is there no way of compromise?
Yeah it would be long distance. There is a school here she could go to if she transferred, but she is already in the other one and set. When i found out that there was a school here she could go to and brought that up that is when she started to feel like i was trying to take some thing away from her. So at least for this year neither of us can move again. That is ok though. That would give her 5 days a week she can have her time and freedom and weekend there are endless things we can do together between our cities. It would also allow me to give full focus to my job through out the week. That all was the original plan and I can see it working out to be that way if she starts to want to. As far as long distance goes 4 hours is not too bad.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
This weekend was the first time in a while I enjoyed my self. Sitting with my buddies after a dive drinking a cold beer, and listening to Jimmy Buffet almost made me cry because I was not sad (if that makes any sense)
...Be happy for her in her new adventure...but make my own adventures as well.
(choose your own adventure, ahh I loved those books)
This is so great, JWS. Being adventurous looks good on you! It seems like it was great for your happiness and mental state, as well as being really interesting and attractive to your W. Plus, I think being outdoors, anywhere in nature, is so good for filling up your tank.
BTW, I'm drinking a toast to you the next time I have an ice cold beer.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
You sound much more positive and upbeat.....I am very glad to hear it. Let her have her adventure....hopefully you can be part of it during the weekends, like this past one
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
I have a case of the post seeing her blues. Every time that we part I know that it will be a while until I see her again and I get down. There is no chance of a random encounter, everything has to be planned out, and it makes me miss her. I know she just sits in that new place and I am just sitting her at night, I wish we were just sitting together. I hate that damn empty bed, I just want to hold her and be held myself.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Do you think it is a cookie dough ice-cream day for us both?
I know how you feel, I woke up last night thinking that my h was in the bed because I could hear breathing. It was just the cat (she snores so loudly!)
I have a case of the post seeing her blues. Every time that we part I know that it will be a while until I see her again and I get down.
Hmmm, yeah. I feel that way, too. You just miss someone you love. We all try to be as upbeat as we can on here, but sadness is a big part of this thing. At some point, it will get easier, and you can put missing her in the background of your life, like you do with family or anyone else that's far away from you. Just give it time.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a good movie to watch while being sad (and eating cookie dough ice cream). It's also hopeful about starting again.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
or boldthings the far left one, looks like the world with a paper clip. Click that at it will ask you for the address then after that it asks you for the text, and then it shows up as the text made into a hyper link. Pretty cool!!
