Guess this is the right place to post. I don't want to clog up the newcomers board. Just a bad day. Just want to have a pity party I guess. Wife and I are done and done. She says she is going back to her family 1,000 miles away in one year. I NEED my kids in my life. Kinda like water and air.
I am ripped inside.
I'm not really sure how to deal with all this. I joined a church, and I told them I just want to serve. I direct traffic. I mow grass. Simple grunt stuff.
I make a boatload of money. I am fortunate. I am lonely. I am scared and afraid. I don't know what else to do.
I feel all this pain. I stuffed it down, but is back again.
I honestly don't expect any or want any response to this post. Just feeling lonely and sad and had to let it out.
********* Side note....If you are reading this and thinking "WTF", that's cool. Keep one thing in mind though. Be honest with yourself. The only way to make you a better person is to be a better person.
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I cheated on my wife. Lost my wife and family. Search my past posts
Jokerman, sorry to hear that you are here and that you are so down. Have you gone to the site survivnginfidelity.com? My STBX cheated on me and between both of these boards I have recieved so much support. They have alot of people there who cheated on their spouces and are wanting to fix their R as well.
I havent had a chance to read your sitch yet, but I will. From someone who had a partner cheat on them, it is worse than if my H would have died. Sounds horrible to say that, but I truly do believe it. A year is a long time. I suggest working on yourself because that was broke inside of you lead you to cheat. By fixing these things, your WAS might then just see the person she feel in love with and might slowly come to trust you. And even if she doesnt, you are still a much stronger man. She needs her space and time to heal from the wounds you inflicted. Respect that as much as you can. Hope I'm not crossing over the line by saying these things. YOu are in good company here and together we can all learn from eachother. Chin up, tomorrow always looks differnt than today.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
(((Jokerman))) I was just thinking of you early today... someone started an "oldtimers" thread and I was thinking of all the people who I have "met" on this board over the past 3 years, interesting that you would post today.
I am so sorry to hear that you are hurting.
Quote:
That's the best place for pain to be, out in the open.
That is so true!
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Jokerman, I am sorry to find you here! I can't imagine what it must feel like to think your kids are going to be 1,000 miles away. I say check with a lawyer, you have rights. Secondly, you made a mistake but you have done everything you can to make up for that mistake. You are NOT responsible for your W's refusal or inability to get beyond it and rebuild. There comes a point where the other party, your W, becomes responsible too. If I recall she became obstinate about dumping your M and nothing you could do was gonna change that. That is NOT your fault! Take your portion of the guilt but don't take it all. It takes two to sink a M, she played her part too. It's great that you are connecting with a church and getting involved. I have found my church to be a real blessing during my separation (btw I've been separated 9 months now). It can be a big support for you too. Keep us updated. Thinking of ya! Hey, don't we DESERVE better!
hey oldtimer))))))))))))) I'm sorry to hear the news, I know the pain is too big to comprehend and bear right now, I pray that the church you chose helps you direct your heart to God and to trust Him with this seemingly impossible problem, trust in HIm for no matter how much we worry we can't tell the future nor make things change. My prayers your way, I hope with all my heart that before the year is up she find in her heart to fight for her family, to forgive as she's been forgiven.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I have read your posts, and I was actually around during that time.
Wanted to say how sorry I am about the move. I agree, you should check with a lawyer and find out. I know here you cannot leave the state without consent.
I Don't know what advice to offer, but I am sorry for your pain.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Just found this, and heard your vent. Pain is our companion these days. It will get better. As far as W taking the kids that far away, can she do that? Is your state agreeable to this? It might just not be possible..... just a thought. Holly
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
Jokerman you're in VA. You can keep her from taking the kids out of state.
Pick yourself up off the floor and start doing something the at least remotely resembles getting the flip over your past mistakes. Had you not made them, you wouldn't know what you know now. Yes, the aftermath sucks. You know I know first hand, so don't give me lip.
This is at least your second drive-by post where you make no replies to those who respond to you.
What's with the reaching out and snatching your hand back, huh?
Remember when T2 and I were talking about that road trip before the twins were born? Your locale was dead center.
Don't make me come up there looking for a dude whose hair turns just as frizzy as mine does in this damned humidity .
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