But my story is different. 26 years ago, I was the OM. I've disrupted families, took waht wasn't mine, rebelled against God, wasn't a better influence on the woman who became my W, dishonored my mother & father, and generally brought pain to everyone whose life I touched in this.. I fell like the scum of the earth. Whatever happens to me is only fitting punishment, and is a lot less than what I truly deserve.
I know that God is a forgiving God. We all have sinned, are sinners, and I believe he does want us to be happy. If you've asked God for forgiveness, you know you already have that. Nobody here including you deserves this to happen. I don't believe God has done this as punishment for you. In my case, I have become a much stronger person, stronger in my faith, and have made many friends, and it's been a huge learning experience for me. I think God has made me a better person through this, not to punish me but because this was the best for me.
I believe you can take this experience and make yourself a better person. I believe God wants you to do that, and not wallow in guilt over the past. I consider mistakes "learning experiences" and maybe you should do that also? Karen
But why do I still think about her, karen? Why do I wish we could be back together and it could be different? I'm not blind. Everything shows me it's over. Why do I feel so incomplete? Why can't I see anything, let alone a life, ahead of me?
I'm sitting here at work wondering why I'm here and who I am. It's never been so clear to me before how much of a stranger I am here. I could go back to Rutland County, where I was born. But nearly everyone I knew is gone from there, too.
And now I've got an ex-wife who can't see past her anger at me, and is vindictive to the point of hurting me badly enough to make me leave. After all, the town is her home, she belongs here, and all that I thought was "my family" is actually her family and I don't belong there. I'm right at the edge of finalizing my decision to quit my job, not showing up in court, and defaulting on the judgment. Her main purpose is to drive me completely out of her life and the area, so neither she nor anyone else will see me again. So I'm sure she'll be satisfied if I just go away.
I don't belong here at all. I have no point to anything I'm doing; just marking time.
You've all been a great help. There's not enough I can say to show my gratitude. But I'm also aware how much trouble I've caused; not only online, but in church, and everywhere around me.
You stand up and take it. You are not to quit your job. You are not to leave the area.
Remember she left. She didn't drive you out of anything. They are still your family. Do not take your problems to her side of the family.
Yes in the past you were the OM, but you have made a life with this woman now.
The Church is there for you. When you have a problem you take it to the Church.
Stop talking that you are only making time here. How do you know what God has planned for you? Praying for something like that would be pretty much praying for an apple to turn into an orange.
Col. Sanders STARTED Kentucky Fried Chicken after he was 65. I agree with Phil, you never know what purpose God has for your life.
Look, I know you're hurting, MC69. But stop beating yourself up over your PAST sins. God forgave you for those long ago, and washed you clean ("If we confess our sins, then God is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.") The enemy is just recalling these to your mind to convict you. Tell him to "get behind you," because "greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world."
Don't give up. Be the strong, mature one, and ask God to show you what it is He wants you to do.
It's going to be ok. I promise. Pills can take 2-4 weeks to equilibrate in your body. But there are other things you can do.
You can run. You can take some vitamins that include calcium and vitamin D. You can drink warm milk and/or eat a turkey sandwich. All of those have a calming effect.
You know...YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Let these men like Puppy guide you and support you. God has a plan for you he put you here for a purpose.
from Jeremiah 29:
Quote:
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
My doctor gave me two different anti-depressants. One was the "long-term" one, and SG's right -- they do take a few weeks to take effect. They definitely helped me, though.
The other was more of an immediate thing to take if I had another anxiety attack, or if I was REALLY heading into a stressful situation. I think I ended up takine 1/2 to one of those on four or five different occasions, but fortunately never needed to again.
What specifically is making you the most despondent?
