wife wants a divorce, i sure as shootin don't. i have always and will always love her more than anything. there's OM though. we have mediation today. I read somewhere that if i still want the marriage to work, i shouldn't go or if i do, not agree to anything. advice please? and hurry i have 5 hours ! thanks
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
I'm no expert, but seems to me from reading some WAW threads- they do not appreciate having someone "stand in the way of their happiness". It makes them MORE sure that they have to get away from you because "look how controlling" you are.
She isn't going to fall back in love with someone that is holding her hostage. It will polarize her. You need to recognize that *she* feels like this is her only option. No, you don't have to 'help' her, but don't stand in her way. You can even say "I think our marriage can be saved, but I understand that you feel like this is your only choice. I do not want a D, but I won't stand in your way."
Can you imagine what the OM would say if she goes back to him and says "My H wouldn't agree to *anything*!" OM will take that ball and make you out to be the biggest, most controlling, immature, jerk that ever walked the planet. And then he'll say how *he* would *never* do that. Yuk.
That's my 2cents; FWIW. Hopefully someone else will chime in; good luck today.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
I gave my XH a D because I know that's what he needed to be happy. I still think that for us the D was a way of Ding our old R and in a way I don't feel D at all from him. Since the D we've been spending more time together and have even very recently ML twice.
I'm over in Separated still if you want to read my posts.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
wife wants a divorce, i sure as shootin don't. i have always and will always love her more than anything. there's OM though. we have mediation today. I read somewhere that if i still want the marriage to work, i shouldn't go or if i do, not agree to anything. advice please? and hurry i have 5 hours ! thanks
I've seen Michele offer advice to some to stall.
What did you do...?
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
i went to mediation and told the lawyer I didn't want the divorce. my wife saw this as "fighting" her. after speaking to our pastor he said if i love my wife as much as I do, and believe in the sanctity of marriage and commitment i should not give the divorce and to hold out.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
