I'm going to mediation today with my wife (we talk and text everyday, have laughs and can talk about almost anything). We even hug when picking our son up from each other's houses. I have wanted to marry her for 9 years. It finally happened and it was like a Godsend. she came to the conclusion 8 or 9 months ago that being a committed wife was too much for her. She is 22 now (yes I met her when she was 13 i was 18, nothing physical happened til she was 19). She kept with me, occasionally bringing up not being happy, and we both brushed it off. well her ex (her "first") who left her years ago came back and loves her he says so we separated physically (she needed space she said) I moved out and the first night i was gone he slept over. I caught them and kicked him out. Then she wanted a divorce. Well mediation is set for tomorrow and I'm glad at least things have gotten less ugly. I want to make this marriage work more than anything. I realize it takes 2 but she is jaded by the euphoria of the OM coming back into her life (i've found text messages saying "i love you" and all that garbage) I could have listened more, and been around more, but I didn't deserve all this. I needed to work on myself, and I'm a better person now having rid myself of some bad habits and communication problems. problem is W still wants to go ahead with D; "it's over. i'm confident in my decision" is what I hear. It's like a million slaps in the face from someone who was supposed to be committed to you (til death do us part). I am willing to fight tooth and nail for this marriage, and she knows it, but won't budge. Other than telling me to buy DR and changing myself and GAL, could someone tell me if there is a way to sway her into realizing what she's doing ? I feel she has buried her feelings so deep so I can't get to them. Both of our families and friends tell her constantly that she is screwing up, and OM is not welcome in their house EVER. not that this does me any good......still looking for hope
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
What is the worst thing a W can do? IMHO, have a PA.... Your W has done that..... No "unringing the bell" here...
I would just act "as if"..... Act as if it is over..... Move on... GAL... Make new friends.... Meet new women...... Broaden your horizons..... Do NOT worry about her.... She is caught up in lala land......
I am one who believes BIG TIME in M..... However, I personally think there are times when women have PAs.... You have to ask, "Is this the type of woman I want to be married to? Can I find a better woman with stronger character than my W?"
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
