webble and wobble

[whitneypinch]

Hello,
As some of you know I have been around here for 6 months.
I have backslid a number of times and been hit badly by 2 x 4s from many of you. There have been some incredibly helpfully people along the way.
I have tried a number of DB techniques and some have worked and some have not. The truth is I just don’t know what has or has not worked.
I have gone a bit dark but W sends me an email within a day of two about our D5 and S3. So, I don’t really know if going dark works. I have been very kind and given my W words of affirmation (her LL) and sometimes I feel that warms her up and sometimes I feel that cools her off. One week she is friendly and the next cool. Quite frankly I don’t know if it’s because of me or what she is going through on her side.
Two weeks ago we got together for the first time in 7 months and it was nice. We just talked about the kids and job stuff. We hugged at the beginning and end. I asked if she wanted to get together again to do something fun like a movie. She said that sounds like fun, let’s do it. I push on it in the following days and she pushed me back that I was being too intense :). So I have left it and I do not bring it up. We had some nice emails and phone calls where she was being sweet. No talk of R, just kids etc. I kind of pushed that I wanted to tell her some of the things which have changed in how I view things etc. Again she said she would listen, but has not asked for it, so I dropped it. This week started out a bit frosty and warmed up a tiny bit. Last night we had a great conversation about things with the kids. We ended it with very gentle good nights to each other. This morning I sent her a text saying how much I appreciated talking to her and that I went to bed felling nice. This may have been too much for her?
Here is what she wrote to me in response to my morning email:
“It was really nice to share stories! We should definitely continue to do that.
Call the kids whenever you want this weekend.
Talk to you later.:)” She signs her emails to me now with a smiley face.
So, she has made it clear that she liked talking about the kids and nothing else.
Should I call this weekend to see how the kids are doing or leave them alone?
I know this is a good baby step that she wants to continue to talk about the kids. It may never go further than that. I guess I should only contact her when there is something to talk about the kids?

Would love to hear some opinions. Bridgestone, where are you? I am sorry again if you became frustrated with me. DAM

[runningoutoftime]

Just keep being a friend, and have no expectations. Keep working towards making you an "attractive place" to be.

[eee]

I'm new to your situation... Is there another man in her life?

Remember Patience.

[whitneypinch]

I don't believe there is a new man, but there was an EA before she left.
I understand the patience thing, it's just hard to implement.
The challenge is everyone says to do what work and what does not. I just can't tell which is not working.
Everyone says don't contact her, yet I believe contacting her is hat has helped???
???

[runningoutoftime]

I think contact can be good once that "angry" stage is over. It just has to be positive, upbeat, friendly, and most importantly, non-pursuing.

[whitneypinch]

Ok,my WAW emailed on Monday asking me to come to a movie with her tonight. I think I am going to handle the situation well. I want to keep it light and fun. My W has indiacted that it's not a date but she at least said it in a positive way by ending the text with a happy face.
Will post how it goes

[whitneypinch]

Just returned from the movie with my W. I kept it light and fun and we talked about our kids. It was very weird and awkward to sit next to my wife and not hold her hand in a movie. I walked her to her car and she thought that was funny. I would have never done that before. I did not like being made fun of for a loving and considerate act. I didn't show my disappointment. She was somewhat cold but at least she asked me to the movie.
I guess I just only respond to her emails and hope to get asked to do something again. I doubt I will get asked again, unless she was hiding any feelings to me. It just felt like she had no feelings at all.
It's hard to want to love and get some in return and not get any. I know we are not supposed to have expectations. I am aware of the baby steps and the truth is I have reached all my goals, So, I guess it's time to set new ones. It actually amazing that 5 months ago I set my goals thinking they will never happen and here I am having achieved all of them. I guess I thought this final goal of going to a movie would have felt better.
Just being honest.
So all you WAWs out there do I continue to not ask her out and let her be the one to make the moves? Half way through the movie I did say to her that I was happy to be there with her and she said me too.
I do believe she only wants us to be friends as we have 2 kids together. I guess time will tell.