My day...I woke late, & enjoyed a few tivo shows of "so you think you can dance". Then got ready & went to MC. My stomach still gets in knots on the way there. It was really good today though. I went the whole 50 minutes, not one tear, BOOYAH !!!
We had a few things to talk through, C keeps repeating with us, ask questions, give information, share how you feel. We talked about a few things regarding H's approach to the kids. C/Doc agreed we need to encourage the kids to talk to H rather than come to me, & want me to intervene. 3 of the kids fold when H is strong with them. C/Doc says we need to teach them to stand up for themselves but in a VERY respectful way. Our oldest especially folds & often times walks away appearing resentful & shut down.
Then I went over to the school & helped out with an ice cream party for S9's class. I love walking into the classroom & hear him yell "Mommy". It's so sweet.
Tonight after dinner, H & I both spoke to all the kids. We even role played a few recent events to show the kids how to voice their feelings & opinions in a respectful tone. We showed a united front, explained that H use to discipline in a cold structure manner, & that was changing. We had a great time, laughing, talking, & one kid even said "this is better than TV". LOL At the end, we reminded them, we are the adults, we are the parents, we make the ultimate decisions, but we do care about their feelings, & we will listen.
I wonder what I would be like if I had grown up in this type of an environment ??
I wonder if my kids will ever know how really lucky they are ?
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Hi Ms Gypsy, I don't know if I savored the joy that is me, but tonight at dinner, I savored the joy that my family brings me.
It is so surreal to think of where we were a year ago. Blows my mind. I really never thought it could be THIS good.
I never thought my H could come as far as he has.
I'm still kind of in shock a bit.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Dear Mr. XX, I have a great life, I have been doing fine without you and see no reason to include you in it. Mrs. SC
You know, that might be the perfect one. The sperm donor one is really good too though.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Distressed, next week I'll be starting plumbing lessons for all the wives. LOL
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Thank you to everybody for the really really nice comments.
I'm off to bed, I take H to the airport at 5 am. He'll be gone 5 days. This is the first time EVER I don't want him to go out of town. Always before, I couldn't wait. I counted the days til he left town. I needed the space & time to decompress. I wanted the bed to myself. I wanted the break from sexual pressure. I wanted the break from the tension in the house. That's all gone now.
For the first time in our marriage, my bed will feel "wrong" with him not in it.
hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Aw, thanks (((Mike))), I am feeling a bit lonely already. This really is a nice but strange feeling. Since he's been out of a job, I'm used to coming downstairs to a big warm hug every morning.
He's traveled so much for the past 5 years or so, & I seriously couldn't wait for him to be gone. I know it sounds really mean, but I was just more comfortable with him not in the house. I never understood how other women would hate for their H's to travel.
New ballgame.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
