No recap. Older than dirt (52), married forever, two wonderful kids S10 and D7, and still in love with Ex.
Can't help it.
I feel great and I can just spit in the devil's eye.
How do I feel?
Let me quote Pierce Bronsnan. Remember, he was James Bond before this new guy:
On turning 55, too old to play Bond:
"That was a shock yes. I never thought of myself as being too old. It was startling to hear such things about oneself, especially when you thought you were going down that particular avenue, and then the door gets slammed in you face".
Sounds like our "bomb", does it not?
So what did he do??
Shaken and stirred but not bitter, Bronson thinks it was a blessing:
"It turned out very lucky. Within the space of the punch and the pain of being passed over or rejected or the bottom of your world falling out, within the same breath came this liberation of 'I am free. I can do anything I want'. It is up to me to have the guts to make the next stage of my life as interesting and as exciting and unexpected as possible."
"You struggle with money. You struggle with love. You struggle without love. But it's how you mannage. You have to keep laughing, you have to be fun to be with, and you have to live with style - not fancy-schmancy, but in a way which is present and meaningful and has some beauty to it."
"You got to be a fighting rooster. You've got to get out there and preen those feathers and look like you know what you're doing and hope you know what you are doing and have a good time."
I understand there is a tradition in this forum. You might think I owe you $200 but you owe me a drink and I'll take something tall and fruity hand delivered please.
BTW, tall and fruity would be the type of drink not the delivery person.
You sound good Jeff, how's the view from there?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Your positive outlook is heartening. Gives me some semblance of hope at least. I tend to steel myself up to your thinking only to fall on my head at some point. It is an up and down cycle which is probably all too familiar on this board. My D became final on Monday. My anniversary is on the 17th. I am newly divorced or newly single or whatever gentle euphemism you want to put on it. My W is gone. A man who has lost everything is a man with options I guess. I hope you keep posting positive here. It helps.
Me: 35 WAW: 28 Bomb: 1/13/08 S: 1/14/08 D filed: 2/24/08 D final on 7/07/08
Do your damndest in an ostentatious manner all the time. -George S. Patton
My Sitch http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1405138&page=0&fpart=1
Your positive outlook is heartening. Gives me some semblance of hope at least. I tend to steel myself up to your thinking only to fall on my head at some point. It is an up and down cycle which is probably all too familiar on this board. My D became final on Monday. My anniversary is on the 17th. I am newly divorced or newly single or whatever gentle euphemism you want to put on it. My W is gone. A man who has lost everything is a man with options I guess. I hope you keep posting positive here. It helps.
one_light,
I understand the pain you are feeling all too well..... I thought I loved my exW more than words could express.... I actually loved the woman I thought she was more than words could express....
I, too thought I lost it all.... I did NOT...
I lost a woman who placed NO value on our R of 15 years.... I lost a woman who placed NO value on our M of 12 years.... I lost a woman who placed NO value on me helping her get her BS... I lost a woman who chose not to share her feelings with me... I lost a woman who chose not to share she was unhappy... I lost a woman who refused to put any work into our M... I lost a woman who refused to go to MC... I lost a woman who cheated on me.... I lost a woman who violated her M vows.... I lost a woman who lied about me to justify her actions.... I lost a woman who had no character..... I lost a woman who had no clue as to what M was about...
I LOST NOTHING OF VALUE.........
I gained myself.... AND later a wonderful new wife! You will find the light at the end of the tunnel... It is NOT an oncoming train! It will get better...
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Hey Rob, Thanks for stopping by. I am still following you in piecing but have little to add since my daughter is not yet a teen!!
Luck. Glad W has not dropped any more mini-bombs.
One_Light, So sorry you are here.
Newly divorced sucks. Ask me how I know.
The good news is that for the first months it is uplifting as in 'this is finally over'.
But be prepared b/c after that I fell big time.
Took four months but I am doing better now. Maybe it is the vacation I had with my kids or maybe it is just doing what Dodo says.
What a wonderful post. Just about everything Dodo listed applies to my Ex except for the cheating part (I think).
I still cannot make that list - even 2.5 years into this. But once I do and accept it I will move forward again.
And once I have the list?
I will burn it and move on. Hopefully I will find a new love as Dodo has. I am not ready to date but those women are not going anywhere.
So chin up one_light.
My closing is Strength and Honor. From a movie.
May you have the strength to have the courage to strike out into the unknown fog of fear; and honor, that you will demonstrate integrity and be assertive in your interactions with others to get the well-being you deserve in the fog of uncertainity.
When my D was final, God just placed a burning desire in my heart to find my new W..... I knew she was out there.... I knew she had been through pain like I had felt......... I knew she was just waiting for me to find her to start our new life together........
The funny thing was I came home from church one Sunday in July and smelled perfume in my house.... No explaination.... It was just there.... It smelled exactly like my new W's favorite perfume.... I saw that as a sign.....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Hopefully I will find a new love as Dodo has. I am not ready to date but those women are not going anywhere.
Jeff223,
Do not worry..... God has a woman out there waiting for you....... You will find her.... It just may take some time....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
It will get better...