ok you have a WAW. she says she feels neglected im the M, fels like you didnt care, so she wantsd a D. you pull back and detach, dosent that equel more neglect? Im am trying to detach in my sitch and I am just makeing sure here.
Marcum, as it states clearly in DR, if what you are doing is not working, you need to change it up.
OK, so let's say you DID neglect her early in the marriage. You then paid a lot of attention to her, and tried to make up for lost time. That pushed her away even more!
So now, you are giving her space, to let her organize her thoughts. You are not ignoring her. You answer when she calls, you return her emails and texts...just not right away.
So the answer is no, you are not neglecting her.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Marcum, how is she acting ? is she still in the same house with you ? is she angry ? is she sullen & withdrawn ? give us some more info please.
In my sitch, if my H would have pulled back, we'd be D by now. I wanted him to fight for me, & fight hard. I wanted him to prove to me thru his actions that he did love me & realized he had neglected me. I basically wanted him to kiss my *ss for as long as I asked. & he did, & I'm still here, & we're doing better than we ever have.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
she moved out and dosent want me to know were she lives because she feels like she was " Abused in the marrage. she wants no pressure, as in me flirting. so i jonly can kind of act like a " Buddy" she has a lot of past she cant seem to let go of in our 6 years of dateing and 2 of M. she brings up old arguments every time and in her own friend words " she tells storys about you guys untill I think she belives them in her own head."
I was a neglectfull man who yelled to much. I admit that. she says she sees changes in me but just cant seem to get over her hurt. all i can do is be myself.
she told a friend last night she wanted to serve me papers today, but then she cancelled out lunch date at the last minute. i was persueing, i was nice. but she would change a comment like " you look nice today mabey we should go see a movie and I could tell ya how pretty you look" to.. and I qoute " he told me he wanted to to do me, and my co-workers were all standing ther" so I guess I will backe WAYY off. its the only thing I havent tried. what do I got to loose? I am spliting our money up as I do feel she has been living off of me by buying stuff and going out.
