First of all, thank you for the birthday wishes. I greatly appreciate the support that you have all given me.
Recap: This past week S and I moved 2500 miles away from H back to my hometown where I have family, friends and a job I will return to. Ever since this, H has been contacting me every day, eventhough I told him before leaving that we should have no contact for a period of time so that we could both sort through things. I on the otherhand have initiated no contact and have remained detached. I am feeling quite tranquil and very ready to move forward with my life. I am no longer willing to accept the status quo. If H does not attempt to address his issues (previous infidelities, constant unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life), then I accept the fact that we may not be able to salvage our M. At this point, he has to prove to me that he is willing to make changes in himself - I am not willing to perpetuate the negative patterns of behaviour. I will continue to work on myself, GAL, take care of S and move forward.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Today I will be going over to my SIL's place in the afternoon for a BBQ (actually not at all awkward because H's family all like me a lot and do not condone H's behaviour). The kids will be able to spend time together and enjoy swimming in the pool. In the evening we are all going to enjoy some Canada Day festivities followed by a short concert with Burton Cummings (how Canadian) and then fireworks.
Hope everyone has a great day!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Have fun today! Please sing "O Canada" for us at the BBQ. You really sound great. Your tone and your content sound so much stronger. I really think the the physical separation is giving you time to heal.
I have moved to the Infidelity Forum in case you are looking for my thread.
I hope you're having a fab day! You DO sound great. More phone calls from H?
Happy Canada Day!
((((((HUGS))))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I had a very full day yesterday with all the festivities. We arrived home at about 11:30pm and I was absolutely exhausted.
H has been calling/emailing every day. However neither S nor I had actually had contact with him since Saturday. He has not been leaving messages when he calls so I haven't returned the calls. He left a couple of messages yesterday evening and S called him back. He then also asked to speak to me. He spoke about what he's been up to, nothing about us except to say he misses us. I've remained very "cool" each time I've spoken to him. I realize that I need to start seeing/hearing changes in him. I do not want more of the same. I need to hear that he is taking steps to make changes in himself - going to IC would be a good place to start. So far that hasn't happened. For many years, I was willing to sweep everything under the rug and the patterns of behaviour continued. I can no longer live like that. I'm not throwing in the towel just yet but plan on moving forward with my life.
I'll catch up with everyone a little later.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Glad you had a good day yesterday Addie! Exhausting is good!
I think you've said it all.. words are not enough anymore... they fall on deaf ears now until he actually shows you he means business. It's kind of like he needs to DB you now. When we were making our changes we weren't supposed to point them out to our WA... we were to be consistent with our changes and hopefully show that we've changed. Now he needs to do that for you to believe.
