Hummmmm.... maybe you should take a stealth approach. Just get a hold of a few things you really want and don't tell her.
When it comes down to it it's mostly just "stuff." Who wants a lot of "stuff" anyway? With the important things, like photos of the kids, you can stash a few of those away when she's not looking and you "don't know where they went... probably accidentally in the trash..."
And then let her have everything else. It will only be bad memories for you. Start NEW! And anything valuable, well take the value out of alimony. I know when my husband and I were going through this whole thing I had pages and pages of junk that we had to value out. It really seemed ridiculous how it had every little thing (might as well have been counting out paper clips!). Anyhow, most of it I didn't want and I was prepared to make extra photo albums for my H so he'd have copies of everything. I even took old video tapes to one those copier places and had extras made for my H so we'd each have one. If you guys are fighting over silly stuff like that just go get copies made quick, don't tell your W and let her keep the originals.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I stood up to her again breaking an agreement and she threw a fit kicking a hole in the wall and breaking some picture frames. I left for an houtr or two and snuck into the basement to sleep.
I am trying to stay away from her but her anger level gets worse no matter what I do.
Glad to hear that! She sounds really unstable and a bit dangerous. If you mention this to your L, do you think that might affect the custody? I mean, do you think she is stable enough to have your kids 50% of the time? Karen
Thanks 4 the concern. I do not care about the stuff. It is just that every single agreement that we have she breaks. How are we going to manage coparenting if she wont honor anything?
She can have all the little stuff. I really do not care.
I am strongly contemplating going to court instead of settling. I have a very good chance at no alimony and the same custody. I have definite evidence of a causal relationship between the D and the OM and my attorney thinks that I am nuts to pay any alimony.
I wanted to be nice. As always nice gets me more drama and stress. Maybe I should give her something to be pissed about and go to war. I am so tired of it all.
You have to do what you think is right. Follow intuition. If you strongly feel you should go to court then that may be the best way to go. Especially if you think you might regret not doing it at a later time.
It sounds like you will get drama or stress regardless, so do what you feel you need to do, but continue to be a good guy for YOU. Not for her.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
She signed the D agreement yesterday. I sign tommorrow and then it is only the judge needing to sign. That should be done with 2 weeks. WE ARE NOT GOING to formal mediation or court. I will be single by 8/1/08.
I got all I wanted in the D and more.
I DBed all that I could. The appeal of the OM/Freedom is too much. I am sad.... A little but in a really good place metally and emotionally. I haven't cried in weeks.
Eagle, I am glad you got what you wanted in the D. You sound like you are in a good place emotionally. Keep up the PMA - that will be important even after the D is final.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
It is 99% done. I signed, she signed, the Judge will sign next week. We have started formal joint custody. I have started dating. I am done and moving on. The other side is scary but peaceful. I miss being married but not her. I have found out that she is angry about things that I havent done yet....But might do. That is why I could never figure out why she was so mad all the time. She is mad about the things I might do down the road. Her and her mom sit around and talk about what I might do and get mad at me. I have no answer for that. I have been keeping up on your thread. You are reaaly strong to keep trying as he keeps lying. I am praying for U.
