Is it true?

[stella_k]

Hello all,

I'm new to Piecing, just moved from Newcomers. Here is the link to my last thread:

Countdown to DB Day

My H finally decided to recommit himself to our M. We are going to be reunited in two months, H is coming over to help me pack up(see above) and then it will be the time for us to ride off into sunset.

I should be happy (which I am!) and lighthearted (which I'm not) and I feel really ashamed of myself when I think of all the LBS on the Newcomers hoping to be reunited with their WAS, but...

I am having doubts!

I spent the last three days brooding over the last two years - that's how long I've been on the rollercoaster; well, nearly two years - recalling all the yo-yoing and all his ILYs and then returning back to OW.

My major problem is OW. She is still lurking somewhere in the back ground, hoping to get my H back. From what I've heard about her she has an integrity of a spider, waiting to ensnare the prey, all sharp fangs and sticky silk. No pangs of conscience there. Has a cleverness of a spider too. My H, however, keeps seeing her as a lonely and vulnerable soul and feels guilty and miserable, even though he had a moment of clarity when he started feeling that he has been manipulated by her. A very short moment.

My other problem is NO SEX. Even though H is hugging me, telling me ILY, there is no ML and he obviously has no sexual desire for me. While turning me down, he keeps telling me how beautiful I am and how he never stopped loving me. He was always the one to initiate sex and I was - alas!- a typical LD wife. It changed about 10 yeras ago and I thought (and my H said so) that our sex life was great. Now it turns out it wasn't so great after all and our roles are reversed. He told me once (when stinking drunk) that OW is the only woman he fwants to make love to. They have mad chemistry and there is nothing he can do about it. He went as far as telling me that he is "under spell"!

Every time I think about their chemistry I just feel beaten.

Anyone else has this problem? Does it go away when MLCer emerges from his tunnel? I'm just hoping this chemistry belongs with the orange sports car, excessive drinking and total madness of MLC and therefore will remain in that dark tunnel.

Right now my H is "on probation" for two months. He is there in our hometown, making last effort to pull himself out of the tunnel, and OW is there too, scheming and plotting, and I'm here abroad, thinking, hoping and waiting.

Would appreciate any input!

[W2G]

Hi Stella,

So glad you made your way to piecing. I am very happy for you. I think the anxiety and uncertainty is very common with those new to piecing. So you are in good company over here... they'll be able to help you stay focussed and grounded.

I'll keep checking in on you... hopefully a lot of us will get to join you at some point. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Big hugs,
W2G

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

{{{{{Stella}}}}}

I found you! I am going to bookmark you and respond later on today. I cannot give you much help in the piecing dept, but I can still offer my awesome shoes for squishing that damn spider!

Keep your chin up, dear! This roller coaster hs some hellacious curves I hear!

SMW

[stella_k]

Hi, (((((W2G))))), ((((((SMW))))))), thanks for visiting me in my new home!

No news today. H lies low, no phone calls. I've called him yesterday after debating it for awhile with myself (I've been going dark for so long it's hard to stop now ). He was nice but not too talkative. One positive there was though. He said: if I manage to earn enough to afford a break, I will come over at once. He's a freelancer now and I don't think it'd be possible, still it was a nice thing to say.

To be continued .

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Stella--

I really need to try to read back over all of your old threads. I need help to find the strength to keep going when my H has such blatant disregard for taking care of his family. My day was going so well until this evening, now I am just tired of it and want to tell H off so bad. I am not and I will not call him, but it is so hard. How did you find the strength to do it? The gory details are on my thread.

SMW

[stella_k]

Just journaling.

No phone call from H. He sent me some pics with a very short message three days ago, I replied yesterday with a longer e-mail, didn't get any answer. The old H would call/e-mail me every day, at least. The alien would call once every 10-12 days. What am I to expect from him now?

Since he left 10 days ago, I called twice and he's called once.

Something tells me that he's not out of the tunnel yet, not completely and I'm a little bit at a loss. Outwardly things seem fine, but inwardly I just don't feel right.

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

{{{{{Stella}}}}}

I do not know what to say, but I am here to give you hugs and support.

SMW

[One Day]

((((Stella))))

I'm glad I found you. I wonder if H is just in his cave processing all the time he had with you recently and all the changes he's making? And also getting rid of the arachnid once and for all? He may also still be in the 'grieving' phase? (ugh)

I wish I had some good advice to give. All I can think is that it might be worth just continuing with patience and let him come to you? He will- he's already there.....

L. xx

[JenInVen]

Hi Stella! Hang on ok? Two months will go so fast. Once you are in the states the black widow will disappear I'm sure. Just keep up the contact but remember no persuing still. Let him see for himself what the spider really is but believe me when you get back "home" she'll come on stronger but you're so much stronger than she is. Like Addie said a while ago we'll squish her for you if you need some help!

Jen

[Kalni]

STELLITSA MOU!!!!

my first post here needs to be positive. So, I am 100% sure you are pulling this off and will soon be enjoying the "benefits" (if you know what I mean)...
Lov ya
K