After the birthday dinner get together on Weds, then W's pullin back some things kinda evened out over the next couple of days with minimal interaction between the 2 of us. That was pretty much about the kids and a few computer issues W was having that she needed help on, plus I had gonna gone gray after Thurs. with her pullin back.
Okay fast forward to Sat. night. W starts texting me just light hearted stuff back and forth "what did you do today", not much, "what did you do"? just that kinda stuff. But as it got later then the tone took a strange twist... W texts', "the hug the other night was really nice". Not knowing really what to say I text back, "dinner company was WONDERFUL, hug was AWESOME, the kisses PRICELESS!. W then says, "oh yes the kisses, they were familar." I say, "familar, what does that mean?" She says, "well it has been so long since we kissed (me to myself 9 months yeah LONG) that it was like in the beginning." I said, "so is familar good or bad?" She says, "no it's good."
So I'm feeling pretty good about the texting, and then as abruptly as it began it ended with, "I need to get to bed been a long day, but we will pick this talk up later." WTF? I say, "okay will talk to you later & left it at that." It was like she was going down a road she didn't want to and just realized oh I don't want to talk about this anymore. Okay that's fine with me we will just take some 'caution laps' and conserve fuel...
I think I recognize what she did with the abrupt ending. Sometimes when I'm getting too close, I get scared, & back up quickly. If you look at just the getting close part, it's a good thing. Don't worry about her fear part, just let her do her back/forth dance & be there to reassure her that everythings fine, & you're not going anywhere.
Just curious, was she neglected/abandoned by anybody important in her life ? Or was a primary care taker an alcoholic or long term health issues, majorly preoccupied kind of thing ??
Conserving fuel is a good thing. You're doing really good at taking things in stride, being patient, & giving her space. Then moving in for the kiss when it felt right !
take care
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Just trying not to get frustrated, I understand the pullin back to a point it's a condition thing I guess. I have learned after last thurs. to work on not assuming things, that can bite ya!
As we have talked before on this subject she was abused as a child by her dad. So never really trusted anyone especially men.
The funny thing about the kiss, it was not me that started it, she was the one that hugged me first, she was the one that asked for a second hug, she kissed me first, but I was the one that gave the finishing kiss, the 'tickler' to give her something to remember he he he!
It was a strange weekend starting on thurs for alot of us hahaha. I need to get out to the track and watch some, just need to pick a weekend the W won't be there, wouldn't want to have 1 too many beers in me and let my mouth run off with itself hehe.
So I'm feeling pretty good about the texting, and then as abruptly as it began it ended with, "I need to get to bed been a long day, but we will pick this talk up later." WTF?
Brian, I agree with smartcookie that there could be an issue from her past that caused this.....or it could be that she was just sleepy.
You're going to have to treat this as a WHOLE NEW RELATIONSHIP. I'm sure that when you guys got together and dated that you did not "just fall in bed and start clawing each other" you probably took things slow. That's what you need to do now.
Listen, I'm a real experienced F**k up at this. Don't judge what she's doing now. Don't expect. Don't have WTF moments, especially during email or text sessions. I'm not 2x4ing you don't take it that way.
I care about you. You keep doing what your doing.
You are doing awesome. Things are coming around. Continue on. Make sure you check in with W this week, due to D17 procedure, it's Friday right?? Be a really good friend to W right now. She sees something I think.
So I'm feeling pretty good about the texting, and then as abruptly as it began it ended with, "I need to get to bed been a long day, but we will pick this talk up later." WTF?
Brian, I agree with smartcookie that there could be an issue from her past that caused this.....or it could be that she was just sleepy.
You're going to have to treat this as a WHOLE NEW RELATIONSHIP. I'm sure that when you guys got together and dated that you did not "just fall in bed and start clawing each other" you probably took things slow. That's what you need to do now.
Listen, I'm a real experienced F**k up at this. Don't judge what she's doing now. Don't expect. Don't have WTF moments, especially during email or text sessions. I'm not 2x4ing you don't take it that way.
I care about you. You keep doing what your doing.
You are doing awesome. Things are coming around. Continue on. Make sure you check in with W this week, due to D17 procedure, it's Friday right?? Be a really good friend to W right now. She sees something I think.
The more I thought about this, just another over reaction on my part.(Note 2 self quit trying to read into things, anybody got a stapler? Need it so I can put this note on my forehead). Thanks guys.
I was thinking about it that way today, but it's been along time since I have dated, kinda rusty. Have to remember this is not my W anymore, this is a potential GF I guess huh? Better yet a possible friend. Then again some "clawing" wouldn't be all bad either. I think had she not hug me the way she did, and the kisses, kinda confused me in a large way ya know?
Dang you I will come to TENN. with some CORNHUSKER WOOP ARSE if you don't quit on yourself. At the moment my sitch just sounds good no telling when it could take a nose dive, ya never know about these WAS remember they are the wind going 1 direction then the other. I will quit doing WTF if you quit hittin yourself upside the head DEAL?
I care about you also, you keep your head straight!
I will yes proceedure is Friday I really believe all will be fine. Friend is all I can be, cause I ain't ready for much more either at this point, but she seems to be changing somethings
I will quit doing WTF if you quit hittin yourself upside the head DEAL?
Do I sound like I'm beating myself up?? I'm not down really. I just feel done. Just feel like I'm done. There's nothing positive happening at all and to be perfectly honest I don't care if there is one way or another. If there is there is, if not then that's fine too.
I will quit doing WTF if you quit hittin yourself upside the head DEAL?
Do I sound like I'm beating myself up?? I'm not down really. I just feel done. Just feel like I'm done. There's nothing positive happening at all and to be perfectly honest I don't care if there is one way or another. If there is there is, if not then that's fine too.
No you don't sound that way at all, just concerned me when you said this, "Listen, I'm a real experienced F**k up at this." If you are done and don't care then I accept that and will stand next to you proudly at a Nextel Race and got silly drunk with ya, and eat Pork Chops & Peaches (I still say it's Applesauce LOL)
