My wife and I got married last July of 2007 and started having problems a few months later. I was kicked out of the bed in november of 2007. She said that I never took her side and went to my mother too much for my problems. we spent some time apart and when we were back together we would still fight. She said i needed to get us counseling, but i never did because i was too lazy and just thought it would work out. We were fighting so much that i voluntarily left for work for 2 months. While i was gone she was back and forth as far as being mean and being nice. While i was gone she went and got divorce papers. When I got back i was happy to see her but i suspected she was cheating on me with a mutual friend. she denied it. I got a hold of her cell phone saying that she loved him. I confronted her calmy about it and she said she loved him as a friend and she kicked me out of the house for invading her privacy. I started staying with a friend. Me and the wife would talk sometimes but usually fight because i would bring up the guy i thought she was with. I would drive by his house and her house and they were always together. She got a protective order against me. At the divorce hearing i asked her if we could work it out and she said no way. afterward we went to dinner and we were getting along. she texted me later saying she was sad and i came over and lay down with her. she let me kiss her face, but not her mouth. Before the divorce I would cry to her saying i would change and it could work. she refused me, saying it was too little, too late. that i had plenty of chances to fix it. i saw her the other day and we were talking. she still claims that her and the guy are just friends and i actually believe her. then she texted me later asking if i missed her. i said that i did but i knew she was over me so i had to get over her. i asked her why she wanted to know and she said because she is a 23 year old divorcee sitting at home alone. I wanted to keep talking but wanted to act like i was busy. I still love her very much and would want to get back with her. Why is she texting me those things? what is she trying to say? what should i do?
A good place to start would be to read Divorce Remedy.
As to "why" these WAS play these silly games, well, it's beyond me. I suppose it may be because it gives them some sick satisfaction of feeling powerful enough to continue jerking us around. They love the chase and that's all.
Drop the rope and go pitch black. Stop crying and chasing after her. If she's divorced and alone, it's her own doing.
I think that you should find a counselor and start going to show her that you are no longer lazy when it comes to healing the relationship and that you are serious about the changes you want to make. Just start going yourself, then she may be able to join you.
It sounds like she really loves you but you guys couldn't get along and you were to lazy to get counseling.
I think going dark would be the wrong thing here it's showing more of the same-doing nothing and hoping things will just get better on their own.
