Could you please pay me a visit & give me your take on how to proceed. I thinking I'm at a turning point & could use a little help on boundary enforcement.
But from my time spent here, it seems like men always seem to have a "place to fall" also (like my H for example). I think most of them are too cowardly to leave without that. Sorry for my cynicism...Karen
But from my time spent here, it seems like men always seem to have a "place to fall" also (like my H for example). I think most of them are too cowardly to leave without that. Sorry for my cynicism...Karen
I should clarify.
Men will leave a marriage for the sexual addiction alone, or even the high likelihood that they're about to get tons of validation and hot monkey sex.
A women will almost always have the next relationship FULLY LINED UP when she even begins to tell her husband "ILYBINILWN".
So when a man says "there is no one else," I would translate that as either "there really IS no one else," or "There is someone else and she doesn't even know I exist much yet, but I really think I can get in her pants if I were single, and I've been fantasizing more and more lately about being single."
When a woman says "there is no one else," as she's telling her husband that she wants out of her marriage (or at least wants "space"), I would translate that as "There is someone else, and I want space in which to conduct my affair without you bothering us."
At least, that's been my experience. I was also told that it was supported by research, but I couldn't cite it here.
I've moved over to Surviving since I'm now in the holding pattern until D is final and not much else is going on.
Just wanted to say thanks for all the support and advice while I was trying to deal with W's A and its aftermath. Wish I knew then what I know now, but hindsight is 20/20, right?
[/quote] So when a man says "there is no one else," I would translate that as either "there really IS no one else," or "There is someone else and she doesn't even know I exist much yet, but I really think I can get in her pants if I were single, and I've been fantasizing more and more lately about being single.[quote]
This has hit the nail on the head in my case and others Iv'e seen with people I know. I think you are dead on in the woman's case also.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I just wanted to let you know that I think you are starting to rub off on me. Taken long enough, huh? I'm still here, still putting up a good front but I wanted to tell you thanks.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory