Well we went to dinner last night. We had to meet to sort the new pictures of our daughter. Dinner was nice, I made sure to act happy and really listen.
We had small talk and then she brought up our R. I sent her flowers to her work the day before, with a get well card. She went to the ER 2 days before because of a kidney stone. Card just said, "I hope you feel better soon, Always #$#%&^*"
She ask me to not do that anymore, and also ask me not to call her "babe" or "sweety" on the phone anymore.
She said that if I can't move on, then she will not be able to move on. And she said if I continue down this path of hope, that maybe we should meet for dinner anymore.
I just told her I sent the flowers because I wanted to, I said in the past I would not have, but in the past I just assumed you knew I was thinking and cared about you. I was wrong to assume that, and I will know longer assume anything. I will let my actions speak for me.
Maybe I am reading in to her comments above to much. She has told me that I have ignored her for the past several years. Now it seems she wants me to just move on to sort of confirm her assumptions that I abandoned her. I am not willing to do this.
Any thoughts!
By the way, we never did sort the pictures. She forgot to bring scissors to cut them.
Keep the faith!! One Goal! Thanks CZ me: 34 XW: 29 D: 5 T: 13 M:9 Dday: Sep 18, 08 joint legal and physical custody of child XW recently told me, she d me, cause she tought I would abandoned her!
Okay, my suggestion is going to be pull back, don't be so available to her, and give her what she wants. Her space. Don't jump for every opportunity to meet her, 'make plans'. That's what I'm thinking... but someone else may come up with something better.
She's obviously uncomfortable with this new development. Doesn't know how to respond, this often pushes them away further, so be very leery, and I won't call her any pet names. Only her name, it's a sign of respect.
I understand that your gesture was a good will gesture, but you're not giving her the opportunity to be 'miss you' yet, either. I think what you did was very sweet and caring, I do, but I can tell by her response, she thinks you're just out to win her over, and she's dead set now on proving that it's not going to work.
Remember when I said, sometimes they fight harder. Well, when someone makes a change, sometimes the other person acts up even more, digs in their heels even tighter, because they are set in their mind thinking that no change is going to happen and when something does happen, they resist it. So, you have to weather this one out. And I think, if she wants to take the lead, you let her.
