Do you think the OW filed the papers, hence all the wrong dates, nothing to separate, etc... Just a thought. I can't imagine why everyone would change their numbers. Unless they really think you will go psycho on them.
Welcome here. I agree with reading Divorce Remedy. There's good advice in there.
We'll help you through this as best as we can...
Last edited by ms ladybug; 06/10/0807:57 AM.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I know that my husband signed the complaint and the pauper form which allowed him to get his court fee waived...but I know it is someone else who signed another paper stating it is TRUE that my husband is unemployed thus allowing the court costs to be waived...that was notarized but it's not his signature.
Well, I know my husband tried to call me that entire month of January when I turned my phone off.
I'm thinking he got it changed b/c he didn't or they didn't want me to know he filed and tried to send it to the wrong address.
The OW changed her number, too.
No, he does not and hasn't seen the children, our son since June of last year and has only seen pics of our daughter when she was a newborn.
Has not even called ONCE. Has not even sent $5 for a pack of diapers!
I really think he has lost his mind...he cashed a paycheck of mine..forged my signature and all...and he wrote down his driver's license # on the back!
What can I do?? I think I'm being affected by all this again b/c my hair is starting to fall out.
first of all, dont' try to make sense out of anything he is/isnt' doing, nothing will make sense, nothing will fit into neat little boxes for you to understand. A well man doesn't leave a wife with 2 small children to go fool around, it doesn't make sense, so don't waste time in thinking about why he is doing it, and dont you be blaming yourself either, I know when it happened to me my self-esteem took a nose dive. It is not you nor how the ow compares to you, it is him trying to escape reality and going to la-la land where there are no diaper changes/bills to worry about.
He cashed a check that was yours and you still thought about helping to pay for his car note? hon, let him hang, what a low life!
I give you huge kudos for not answering ow, good on you, never talk to her, all you will get is lies and hurt from her. Can't you file for child support? in my state a sheriff goes to serve the dead beat if he doesnt' respond to the CS letter he is sent. You need to protect yourself and your children while he has his head up his butt.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
yes, my self-esteem has gone down some...but I'm working on that.
I did file CS last August and since the children were conceived in another state, the case had to cross state lines. Right now I am waiting on whether any of the addresses will come back positive to prove that he gets mail somewhere.
I'm confident that it will soon. I just have to be patient.
Is there anything I can do? I've been reading about this thing about going dark. Ok, I am going dark but not by choice!
Do I remain dark anyway? We live thousands of miles away from each other now and I figured if he was concerned about me and especially our children, then he would go to the ends of the earth and try to find us.
ok...well I was able to find out his current cell number. I haven't called, really plan on not calling. But wanted to know so I would know whether he is still in the state or not and tries to move around...
Any suggestions, advice.
dry_heat:
by saying my husband just let go...do you mean b/c he made the decision to file hastily and that caused him to not be able to think straight or really think about what he was about to do?
And can someone please tell me what are lockbox payments? He is paying his cell bill by lockbox payments...
by saying my husband just let go...do you mean b/c he made the decision to file hastily and that caused him to not be able to think straight or really think about what he was about to do?
What I tried to say was that his initial filing was all based on emotion. By the time you countered, the emotion was gone. He didn't have the energy or motivation to follow up and make it happen. So, he just let it go. That's my theory on why he didn't get things done "right" the first time.
So he could've done it based on what he felt at the time?
I remember he and the OW changed their number the Friday before he filed. They had just came back from a little get-away in a near-by state. Then I logged on to a profile site and saw that she set her status profile to "can't sit steady b/c I'm ready..." and that set off something inside of me.
So then I called the circuit clerk in the county I thought he was still living in (the following Monday). He filed during lunch time and I found out lke 20 min after he just filed. I know it wasn't a coincidence.
I might be reading too much into what has happened...I don't know.
I'm sorry if I'm annoying...but I can't seem to let it stop baffling me!
He was married before and his XW filed but she waited 18 mos to file and he didn't try to do anything before that time.
Ok..I think I know where you're theory is getting at...he filed based on emotion...then by the time I filed my response, the emotions based on what set him off to file were gone. (so maybe he did it out of anger? I mean pissed off kind of anger, do you know what I mean?)
Could he have not done it "right" when he filed on purpose? Like he was doing this, knowing I would find out somehow even though I don't live in the state just to get me all riled up?
Does my situation seem hopeless?
Do you think he has even a shred of love left for me as his wife?
