Hi everyone, It is has been a very long time since I have been on the boards and there are many of you that have no idea who I am. I was a broken hearted left behind wife with 2 children. I was devasted! If it was not for many people on this board talking me thorough it for hours a day for days on end I would have never lived through it..literally!!! I owe my life to many of you guys and my family and friends here at home. I look back on it now and can't believe one situation in your life is so strong it can and will destroy you..and it does! But you dont have to let it, so everyone that reads this please promise yourself that the situation in your life right now will not break you completely.
A little update..and I came to this topic because this is where I spent all my time.
My divorce was final on April 24th and as much as I hated to have to be called "divorced" it was a little bit of a relief. On the 15th of this month it will be 2 years since he quit coming home one night. I now realize that is not someone whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. He still has his 21 yr old girlfriend. I hear from people all the time that he lets all her under age sisters, brother and frinds come to his house and party. Many of them leave drunk and one got alchol poisioning the other day ..so that really is sad and I want nothing to do with that. He is getting the girls reguarly and he is doing good with them for now. I am not sure how much partying is going on when they are there but I am taking my time to figure that out so I know I am not wrong and then I will fix that situation also. He still is not making it financially either, his Mom is still paying absoutely everything for him..again not a life I want to live.
As for me: I started my own company, something I have always wanted to do and never would take that plunge. I was laid off in March and took the oppurnity and it is working out great (for now at least) I work from home so my girls get to stay home for the summer instead of spending it at daycare. I am moving them to our school district instead of using my Mom's address and then going there after school b/c I could never get to them in time. They will be able to come straight home and we will not have a 30-45 min drive every day getting home from my Mom's. I have almost paid my car off which is a HUGE financial relief and not to mention how good it makes you feel to have something paid off. I still have sad days and some days I really really miss my H, but the man I see now is not my H and I am not sure he will ever return. Those sad days are fewer and fewer between and they do not get my completely down..just more of a "mood" if you will. i do miss my old life as a wife but my life now is really more positive and less stressful even though I am a single mom of two that has to do everything! I have tried to get on a few dating websites but I can't seem to find anyone I am interested in talking to so I for now I think it is safe to say I am doing good alone and not ready for that yet. I know one day I will be though so I am not rushing it. I just wanted to drop a quick note for two reasons: 1. to let all my friends here know what has happened in my life, as I know somedays not too far back ya'll would worry from day to day if you would ever hear from me again in fear I have done something stupid to myself. ( and I miss you guys) 2. To let all the newcomers know there is hope. I didn't think there was but it turns out everyone else was right and I was wrong.
Thank you again everyone and I am always in debt to you guys!!
Thanks for posting! I'm so glad you have found some peace. Your XH is a lame-o.
I need a shoulder! I burned through all of my friends. I spare them from my misery as often as I can. My kids are awesome but I am stuck in a stage where time spent with them is as painful as time spent apart. I even feel like I bored people on this board. I had a six month separation anniversary last week and haven't really been able to rise up since. I'm holding it together for work, for the kids and for the W, but am dying inside. I think that giving up is the only way for me to make it through this stage but I don't feel like I have the ability to give up. I was the life of the party. Now I'm my worst nightmare. Bummer, Eh?
Thanks again for posting. I'm all about Faith, Love and Hope. I hope I haven't spoiled anything. I was thinking of the offer to vent here. I'm venting so I can spend the rest of the day with a PMA around the kids and eventually the W for dinner. EEEK!
Me 41 W 39 d7, s4 M 13 Bomb ILYBNILWY November 28th, 2007
I am so sorry for venting on your new thread. I just realized how rude that was. Your post was beautiful and it touched me and gave me a new and different kind of hope. Your inspiration yanked out some bottled up posting that should have been on my own thread. Thank you for coming back and posting. I would edit my first post but I am locked out.
Me 41 W 39 d7, s4 M 13 Bomb ILYBNILWY November 28th, 2007
Its great to hear from you! I am so very happy that things are going so well now. I do recall that day last April when they hit bottom for you. I recall the day we came up with the new "handle" for you as well.
So FLH I wish you all the best!!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
Hey - Congratulations on getting the car paid off! Have you ever listened to Dave Ramsey? You can listen to his radio show online. He's all about getting debt free. (I personally don't care so much for his religious/conservative bent, but that's a small part of the show really).
You sound good and congrats on the new business too.
kml, Dave Ramsey is awesome. He is a little hard to listen to sometimes but his programs works!! I want to buy his "enevelope system" really bad.. Things are going well..sometimes it scares me that i will start hurting again fincially but I just take it one day at a time.
Catfan- That last day of April was really really bad...I have come a long way as everyone else that has been here atleast that long has to. I haven't had a lot of time to catch up on everyone lately but I hope your doing well..
LucasE- don't feel bad one bit..you have no idea how many times I have been where you were. I am so sorry that you are here and you have to go through this. It stinks and there is no two ways around it but you have to grieve and each day you will get a little stronger. If you are no in some sort of couseling..here or individual counseling you might consider it.. it really has helped me alot. I still go once a week and so do my girls. We go to the local college and it does not cost anything. (we don't have health ins) they are getting their master's so they have to do so many hours in order to graduate. My girls beg me to go.
Well tonight has been hard for some reason but it is bed time and tomorrow I will wake up and keep moving. I think I might be tired... (the girls came home tonight from being at his house for a week and everything keeps being referenced to his house) it just makes me a little sad but it is alright.
I hope everyone has a good night..keep your chin up!
I am not sure what prompted me to look at your thread from beginning to end, but I have to say this. You are an inspiration.
I read your thread from where you started to where you are now, and it made me want to cry to see how devastated you were. But how well you are doing now is really the best thing that can help some of us who are in the beginning states of this.
So thank you....for sharing a little bit of your life. I am sorry it had to be here!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
