OKay, so I was watching this movie called "Why did I get married?" by Tyler Perry...and the men and women in this movie are talking about infidelity and how the OW fits in...Tyler Perry (or one of the characters) put it like this:
"Do you know the 80/20 rule ? In most cases, in marriage you are only going to get eighty percent of what you need. That’s it. No more, no less. Most time eighty percent. Now here comes this woman offering twenty percent. Now twenty percent looks real good when you are not getting it. But the problem is you are going to leave the eighty percent and thinking you were getting something better, and you end up with twenty percent."
hmmmmmm....wonder if any of our spouses look at it this way...
Anyhow, this is how I feel like my H justified his affair. the 20% must have looked like 1000% in his eyes...dork!.
Anyhow...just wondering how many of you out there agree with this rule and feel that it applies...
AND this is why we are never "replaced" by the OP...
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
I think this question is best answered by those that went and had the 20% and how they felt about it afterwards....If the 20% didn't look so hot after the fact.
It's supposed to be a good movie, but I think hearing that explanation would upset me somewhat.
But yea, I think - or I hope - alot of the OW/OM are grass that's never turned greener. How can you leave a M with history and family for a piece of ass? It just doesn't make sense.
I read a book called His Needs/Her Needs. It is a little idealistic but this is basically what the author says leeds to most affairs, some un-met need that is offered by someone else and looks like the holy grail.
I imagine most couples meet the others 4 out of 5 top needs naturally, perhaps the work comes in meeting the last need that doesn't come so natural
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
