Well, H did show up with his motorcycle but I was asleep when he got here, and he didn't wake me up. He was very cranky today, but I just avoided him, after telling him there was no need to be rude. H was just bitter its supposed to rain all week and he can't ride his new bike. lol I did tell him congratulations on his bike and asked him to be careful, and he balked (said "Oh you didn't want me to have it, you'll be happy if I wreck, you would get the house and my life insurance"). Blah blah blah...
Someone please come get our forecasted rain!!! I don't want to rebuild my garden again.
H called me at work to ask me a question and we had a very peaceful 'how to get divorced' discussion. I am trying not to be afraid of the future, that would only hold me back. I see this divorce happening, and have to prepare like it is. Protect myself and the girls and stay friends with my H for their sake.
We were getting confused about some things, so I brought up that we need the mediator if we are going to officially talk about divorce. He said "Um, ok". So I told him I would make an appt next week on one of his off days.
He has agreed to help me buy the house in the neighborhood for sale (if it all falls into place, of course, with ours selling). Agreeing to help as in, negotiating prices, making offers and doing whatever needed to make the girls comfortable if we moved there. He also agreed to make that their 'homebase', and that he is fine with them staying in the district (he once discussed wanting to do private schools, which I was open to as well).
It was a good talk. As good as divorce talks go.
Oh and he wants me to pick out a helmet so he can buy it, and take me for rides on his bike. lol
I see this divorce happening, and have to prepare like it is. Protect myself and the girls and stay friends with my H for their sake.
Hey lwb-
I'm right there at the same place. There are times that part of me just wants to be an angry, bitter, vindictive person to my H. Then I stop and think......that's just not me. After all that he's done.....that's still just not me. It's going to be hard, but I feel the same. I need to make things as peaceful as possible for D4. It's a tough, tough spot to be in when your H has left you and shattered your marriage. Yes, we're all here because there were problems beforehand, but nothing that couldn't be worked out. Our H's just aren't the type of people that can hunker down, stick with it and do the work that it would take to make that happen. It's easier for them the just walk away.
I'm glad that he's going to help you with the house and I really hope that all works out for you.
And for the helmet, I suggest something with flames!
Have a good day lwb!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Before the how to get divorced talk, I was going to recommend some leather accessories.
I agree. And you can still can get the leather 'accessories'.
I think there is still hope, despite what your husband says. If he's still initiating sex, and wanting to take you for rides, he still feels something.
((((lwb))))
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I was thinking the same thing. Guys seem to like having their woman hang on tight while they zoom around. I think he is trying to tell you something. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
