OLD NEWS Wife gave me talk ILYNILWY speech 12/07, she is still living with me and the kids, can't handle it, wasn't cut-out for stay at home mom, wants out, never said when yet and hasn't started looking for full time work yet. She is going to leave the kids with me. Several days before Christmas, I found out there is another man, says its only emotional affair but she will not give up seeing him, I went through all the hanging on stuff, letters, flowers, cards, holding her at night, kissing her before work, she said she no longer loves me, doesn't think she ever did love me. We haven't been intimate with each other in several months. I'm using LRT right now, stopped calling her, sending her letters, following her around all that crap, I have been looking at changing my life 180 stuff. I do believe in what others have said on these posts about working on yourself, being happy with yourself, if you do end up getting divorced, you did everything you could and your have and should continue to improve yourself. I get up in the morning one hour before everyone else to go to church (Catholic) to pray and think.
NEW NEWS/JOURNAL: We all went to the pool yesterday, wow it has been raining in St Louis for the last several days, we did get some swimming in, water was cold, kids turned blue. BBQ, were the only family sitting out in the terrible weather BBQing, we were committed to having a good time, or should we be committed.
W told owner of pool, we are a family that consistently considers the glass half full. W talked about moving out, that she was going to talk to D9 about it this week, I told her to do it on a night we are all home together. It was tuff, sitting, swimming, with W in her bikini wow, she is good looking. Told W I would remain faithful eventhough I know there is only a 1-in-million chance she will want to come back, Told her I would remain faithful for awhile.
She is taking bedroom set (she had it before we got married), she is taking dinning room set, and frontroom furniture. Will give me a fresh start to furnish house the way I like, she has no taste, buys oversized furniture for a small room and you cannot get around, has a settee in the dinning room ?? I already found a dinning room table I like, right now kids eat at the center island in the kitchen (W could not handle kids eating and making a mess on her dinning room table)
W left already this morning, to run, shop, what ever she wants. I told her before she left, that I will not miss that part, "her leaving first thing in the morning on the weekends"
I asked her who was going to help her move (probing for her to say OM) she said she was going to hire a moving company for the big stuff (neighbor will be all over that asking questions and neighbor is a direct link to W's mom) and she was going to move the little stuff, I told her I would help her move the little stuff out.
A number of people have posted this, but I believe I seen it at lwb post last, about how helpful going to church is, The kids and I go every week and it helps soooo much, trying to be involved as much as I can in the parish (kids and myself). FYI yesterdays sermon priest talked about how going to church helps drive the devil away/temptation away.
You know what I miss so much, being touched by my W, being held, kissed and loved. Has everyone heard of Maslows Hierarchy Of Needs, well touch affection, is number two I believe after food and shelter. People need to be touched and feel affection, I'm sure this is a craving most of us in BD land feel
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet. This is me, this is how I want to live my life, this may not be the best course of action to save a marriage, but its the best way to live my life. The right path is always the hardest.
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? let me hope !!! W moving out June 1st - 8 days
Soft as a raindrop, fresh as the sea Warm as the sunshine shining on me This was my love, this was my love Light was her laughter, few were her tears Gentle her beauty, tender her years This was my love, this was my love So young, so fair, such bright golden hair A smile always on her face No other love can ever compare No other can take her place Others may cherish fortune or fame I will forever cherish her name For this was my love This was my love!
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? let me hope !!! W moving out June 1st - 8 days
Jeff, I'm sorry for what you are going through...your situation is different but so much the same. I think you know what you need to do. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to happen. That means that we just place our trust in the Lord. I think you are doing the right thing with the exception of helping her. I just still feel that actually helping her leave will make her feel it is the right thing to do in her twisted head. You don't have to make her hurt, but make her realize the difficulty of it. Just because she has to rely on others for this move doesn't mean she will turn to them. Turning to them may help her realize how wierd this whole situation really is. In any case, I'm in your court. Keep fighting the good fight for you and your family.
Hi Jeff, I am glad that you were still able to go to the pool. There would have been no way anyone could have been at a pool in this area yesterday. It just poured and poured. I can't believe how much it has been raining. Floods are bound to happen again. One of my neighbor's flag pole got hit by lightning yesterday. Pretty scary stuff!
Hang in there this week...you'll make it. Enjoy redecorating your home. I have been thinking about that a little myself. I think I might paint the bedroom and get a smaller bed. The queen sized bed in there is really large and makes the room crowded. Although when 2 people were sleeping in that room, we needed a larger bed than what I as a single person will need.
I am still with you on the being nice to your spouse business. I have been trying to be loving and kind to my H as much as possible. Even though he has been so unloving and rude to me, I want to show the love of Christ at all times.
I have really, really been enjoying church more so than I have in years. Yesterday the guest pastor said a prayer and in that prayer he said, "God please heal those who are in our congregation who are physically sick and also be with those who are here hurting from a broken marriage." I have no idea where that came from! But it totally touched me in so many ways. Oh...I have been asked to lead the singing on June 22nd at the church. I am really excited about doing that. I used to do that at my old church (the one where H and met) but H and I switched churches a while back and I haven't been as involved. It is funny that H made that decision as the spiritual head of our house, and yet I am still going. Actually H says he is going ot church with the OW on Sunday mornings....can you believe that! Going to church with the woman you are having an affair with? What would the congregation say if they knew THAT was what was going on?
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Actually H says he is going ot church with the OW on Sunday mornings....can you believe that! Going to church with the woman you are having an affair with? What would the congregation say if they knew THAT was what was going on?
Sara
Good gosh, I'm surprised that a bolt of lightning hasn't hit them both!! What a couple o' hypocrites.
Actually H says he is going ot church with the OW on Sunday mornings....can you believe that! Going to church with the woman you are having an affair with? What would the congregation say if they knew THAT was what was going on?
Sara
Good gosh, I'm surprised that a bolt of lightning hasn't hit them both!! What a couple o' hypocrites.
Puppy
Yes, I know! And have I mentioned that my H is an ordained minister? He has never had his own church, but has performed weddings and funerals and has his degree. I wonder if the church can take his ordination away from him?
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I hate to be taking over Jeff's thread (goodnight Jeff!) but we are the Church of Christ (also known as Christian churches such as the 1st Chistian church of__________)
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
