Hi SG, I have been following along, glad your health is fine. and you are well. I hate to go back to old news but I wonder about the guy you dated. What didn't your girlfriend like about him? Did you ever visit his home? Did you have a home phone number? Are you sure he was divorced? How did you know that?
You don't have to answer all these questions, but I may just step out there again some day. I didn't like the sob story of his trauma. Guys don't just spill that kind of stuff so soon. Or do they? And the next person in the wings already...
But I wasn't there, just curious, and you know I hit a true bad one so testing my ability to weed them out! Wonder
My girlfriend remembered something he said way back when we first met, which was last June. I have actually known him about a year. So spilling after "so soon" doesn't quite apply. We dated last summer briefly and then started up again this spring.
He said right after he first met me that I would look really "hot in retro glasses" and then later this spring he said I would look cute with short hair.
My friend said, "How dare he try to change you. He doesn't get to do that! I don't like that he is trying to make you look a certain way." She also thought he was a little too full of himself and arrogant.
I have visited his home multiple times, his office once and met one of his daughters. I know he is divorced, and there is PLENTY about him on the internet because of his business. His home phone is in the book.
He lives in my mid-sized town and we know many of the same people.
I do think he has been telling me the truth all along that he has trouble with relationships. Duh!
I also agree (with another girlfriend) that he probably did have feelings for me and cared about me on some level.
He is just severely conflicted. And he refuses to do anything to heal himself.
As I have said, ultimately this is a good thing. Any break-up is difficult, and we weren't even that serious. I am fine. There was way WAY too much drama connected with him.
However, every single date I had with him was very very nice, and I enjoyed the time we were actually together.
It was the spaces between those times that were hard. And too long.
Thanks for the good wishes about my health!
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
I don't think I've ever posted to you, but I was so enchanted with the first post on this thread, that i kept reading, and here I am at the end. Just wanted to say Hi, and three cheers for your good news. Also, how weird about CG, he sounded just like my MLC XH, to be honest. It's an epidemic, I guess!
Anyway, I really liked the the inspiring bookends post, thanks and stay well.
Thanks for the nice feedback on my posts! RE CG, I do think there is a difference between someone acting out while in a committed relationship and someone dating more than one person at a time. CG was somewhat schizophrenic in the way he communicated w/ me...on the one hand, "I can't commit, I am emotionally broken, I have trouble w/ relationships" yet on the other hand, "I like you and want to get to know you, you are terrific, you can call me, I would have driven you to your appointment, etc."
Also thanks for the cheers!
best, SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Very busy weekend...I had a GREAT time w/son and friends including S's girlfriend on Friday for his birthday. Later today (sooner rather than later, actually) I should see Ellie and then some other friends who are visiting the area. Whew! the GAL stuff can keep a gal busy! Processing the breakup...
Well, in the time honored way of John Cusak in High Fidelity I like to make mix-tapes as part of my breakup process. I was a DJ in the 80s, so this is a fun creative outlet for me...
So here is the list for the CG mix tape: (Note to younger readers... a "tape" is what we used in the olden days before MP3s!)
Don't you forget about me- Simple Minds I'm So Afraid- Fleetwood Mac I'm No Good- Amy Winehouse I'm a 8!tch, I'm a Lover-Alannis Morrisette Girlfriend is Better-Talking Heads What's Love Got to do with It-Tina Turner Kiss-Prince Too Experienced-Bodysnatchers Good Riddance-Green Day
Hope you all have a great day!
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Hey there, SG - So sorry we missed you yesterday. We had fun - okay, it was a TOTAL FLOG. Got to the apartment, landlord announce he has to shampoo the carpets! Drove to Home Depot to get some plastic sheeting runners so we can at least put all the stuff into the kitchen. S21's roommate arrives mid-afternoon and his dad stays just long enough to help carry his son's things up, then has to split for work. Said roommate then had to go to a meeting, and another long one this am. SO - mostly S and I shopping, lugging, organizing, and furniture building.
Still - we got some sweet deals. A great black futon sofa, barely used, not a scratch on it, for $150. A XL twin mattress set and frame, less than a year old, for $100. (Thank you, Craig's list!). Some good garage sale finds and some stuff at Big Lots.
It's astounding how much it takes to set up even a student apartment from scratch, but I think we did a good job of budgeting. S21 is so excited about cooking! He made up a menu for the week before we shopped for groceries.
I left him today in the middle of assembling his new desk (man, those people at Frys have GOT to take a lesson or two from IKEA. This desk we bought at Frys required 3 different sizes of screws, included wood glue and about fifty million steps. I hope he finally got it together. Next to that, the IKEA dining table will be a cinch to put together.)
Anyway - you didn't miss anything but a bunch of schlepping!
