front row seats on the curb still available!!!!!!!
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Be ready to save angry messages or mailings. Avoid private one on one conversations. You know he is going to explode. Have evidence, witnesses, and contact in fairly safe places. He may not be a physical threat, but you need to substantiate anything that could appear to be a threat.
It all sounds worse when it is read back in court, than it did when spoken out of momentary anger. Once spoken, it can be hard to take back and later he will be a busy little beaver trying to explain his dam behavior.
Not the makings of a good parent in court later. He made this mess. He will make it worse still. Make sure this all goes in your favor so you can move. Plus, if he does shoot his mouth off real bad, it may be good for a restraining order and reduced visitation. Again, bad for him, bargaining tools for you! He made this mess trying to control you, make you feel worthless, and cause you to seek medications. This is not about retaliation. It is ALL about knowing your control, owning it, and playing it like a fine musical instrument.
It's about time that things went your way. His knickers will be in a twist and JA will be doing everything possible to push your buttons. Document, sit on the sidelines and wave as his buzzes down the street.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Glad to hear you sounding focused and having a purpose and direction. It feels so much better than the down times, doesn't it? Too bad your first lawyer turned out to be such a dud.
I agree with the others that should be well prepared for an onslaught from H if you take the step of withdrawing your counterclaim.
You know full well that it is hard for you to NOT engage in dialogue with him when he's on a verbal roll. Now is the time to make your plan for how you will end such angry phone calls. Having spew on tape is not a good enough reason to allow yourself to fall in to one of those back and forth arguments that the two of you are prone to. They take far too much out of you, especially at a time when you will need to be at full strength.
I like the plan. I'm very happy that you can see it as a way to regain a position of strength in this proceeding.
Don't let him lure you into foolishness.
This is your future at stake.
You have to be the one who knows just how each conversation is going to unfold and end. No matter what he says.
Has either lawyer advised you on the child visitation issues? What is their guidance on your H consistently calling about seeing the boys outside of the previously agreed upon schedule? I would agree with anyone who believes that now is the time to follow the visitation agreement rigidly. No more allowances for this that and the other thing.
This is a nasty business proceeding now. I hope you can pull the full weight of your efforts behind that idea.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
