in limbo and an emotional mess...

[SueS]

Hi mzul-

I'm sorry I've been absent from your thread for a few days. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Do you have any idea when your H is planning on telling OW? Sounds to me like he is a bit excited about this too. Didn't he call this a pleasant surprise? My H would have flipped if I would have gotten pregnant again. I wouldn't be surprised if OW in my sitch got pregnant. Her H said that he was "fixed" after their 4th child. He was upset to see that she was on birth control again. She used the excuse that it's to keep her regular. Now, I know that's a valid excuse, but her going back on it coincided with the starting of the PA with my H. YUCK! My H NEVER takes any precautions so it's a possibility.

Well, I don't have much time this afternoon. Just wanted to pop on and say hi. I hope you're having a good day. Take care of yourself! Hugs.

SueS

[MAZ]

Thanks Sues,,i don't know when H will tell OW, we were supposed to talk the other nite and as usual he didn't show, said he got tied up at work, but earlier had called and started again with the "when was the last time you talked to OW's ex" again..but then called me at 2 a.m. to tell me he ran into my mom at the hospital and that my grandmother was in the hospital and not doing well... so things focused on that for a while and he apologized for not showing up but said we would still talk this weekend. Needless to say was on the phone with my sisters from about 3 am until about 5 then at 7 was on my way to the hospital with my sister to see my grandmother, that was an all day vigil, then left to bring my son to his baseball game and H and I were to talk after that when I got home, I got very upset on the phone with him when I was at the baseball field for several reasons,, my grandmother, the game was rain delayed and we didn't get done until 8:45 and then still had to continue it this morning and the whole pregnancy thing and I really was looking forward to talking with him, he got mad that I was crying
yelled "whats wrong now" on the phone and hung up,, didn't talk to him the rest of the night. Got home from baseball around 9 then got a phone call to get to the hospital right away because they didnt expect my grandmother to make the night, so was there until 1 a.m. and got a call around 2 a.m saying she was gone. Left H a message this morning letting him know and he called me back around noon today, said he'd "try" to stop by later today so we can talk, but I"m not holding my breath, there are so many sneaky things going on which I continue to find out about including that H is walking around talking to people who are now tied to people I used to be friends with 10-12 years ago and blatantly telling them how much he hates me, etc. and of course those people think he's a saint.. he is making me out to be this horrible person to everyone so they feel sorry for him,, or at least that is how it is being made to sound to others... funny thats how he got tied in with OW,, by saying how awful I am,, there are so many lies going on I never know what to believe anymore,, pregnant or not I don't know what to do,,,, he is truly sincere when we talk or are together, but the second my back is turned it seems all he does is talk trash about me,,, so I will have to talk about that as well when we talk at some point. OW called me last nite looking for H I said I was on the way to hospital and didn't know where he was that he walked back here with my son from the fire dept and because he was mad because I was upset he took the bike from the garage and supposedly rode it to his place, she then proceeded to tell me that he has to make a choice and that every time she threatens to leave him he says he wants to be with her and pretty much begs her to stay... huh,, funny, yet I get hung up on...I don't knwo where this is all going to go anymore..I really would like to have a drink or two to just relax right now,, and I can't, I didn't know it was such a crime to be upset with everything going on right now and then my grandmother passing away on top of it... going to be an early night I think,,, I don't think he will stop by tonight, but we'll see.

[Sugar and Spice]

(((((mzul))))) I'm sooooo sorry about your grandmother. For right now, even though its hard, put your H and OW and all that crap on the back burner and do what you need to do for yourself. Go and take a bath and go to sleep.

((((hugs))))

[MAZ]

thanks for your condolences Sugar, I am just glad my grandmother can finally rest the last week was hard on her, well its sunday nite and H just left we had a good talk about a lot of things, I think it went well, we'll just see what happens, H is going to come to the funeral with us on Tuesday, and is going to come to dr. with me on July 1st, as we are both concerned about a few things with the pregnancy just because of our ages so there are additional risks at 40+ along with the stress i've been under, and that I haven't really been eating, etc. over the last few months, that way we know what we are dealing with as far as that is concerned, H had his list of pros and cons as do I, but still had a smile,,I felt ok when he left of course would rather he didn't have to leave, I told H I didn't want him coming home just because of this and he said he would never do anything he didn't want to do, that he does miss us,, so we'll see where it goes from here,,,I feel better now that we have finally talked. Well i'm off to get some rest, crazy next two days with my grandmothers funeral and everything... thank you again.

[MAZ]

hello everyone, changed my member name to MAZ for future reference,,,

[SueS]

MAZ-

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I understand about being glad she can rest. I lost mine at 93 years old about 2 years ago. She was mentally gone about 6 months before she passed. Within her last 2 weeks of life she broke both legs and was in tremendous pain. A nursing home worker tried to move her by herself & dropped her. Then during surgery to fix the one leg, they broke the other one. We wondered why she had to suffer so much. We miss her but she'd told my mom that she was at peace & ready to go about 6 months before she passed. She was a fabulous lady & I miss her so much.

I'm glad to hear that you feel you had a good talk with your H. Boy, the OW has some nerve calling you and asking you where YOUR H is. But, after all the other crap she's pulled, I guess I'm not shocked. Boy, wouldn't it have thrown her for a loop if you'd said....he just left my pre-natal appointment. But, telling her is your H's job. That shouldn't be put on your shoulders.

I hope you're feeling well despite everything. Take care of yourself.

SueS

[MAZ]

SueS- Thank you, my grandmother went down hill fast, from being fine to where we are now over the last month, it is scary to see how quickly it happened, but she had her sense of humor and knew we were there up until the last day. On another note I only talked H for a few minutes today in IM's and things still seemed ok, I asked if he said anything to OW last nite when he left and he said he hadn't said probably more than a few words to her all nite that he was just spending the time thinking. OW called me a little while ago in tears and said congratulations I won and get my family back that she's done! so I don't know what H said exactly but she was awfully upset, so I am assuming H told her about our talk last nite but i'll have to wait until later to talk to him because he is in school right now. I would have loved to be the one to tell her but your right, it was H's place to tell her. So i'm sure i'll hear about it later if not definitely tomorrow since H will be with me and the boys for my grandmothers funeral so we'll see... thank you again for your well wishes and i'll keep you posted

[SueS]

MAZ-

I'm glad he told her. I just am amazed by her nerve to call you and talk to you the way she does. I don't know if you've ever seen Joie on here. She pops on from time to time. The OW in her sitch did the same thing. The OW in my sitch called H's phone tonight. He forgot it at home. Appears he told her that he was going out for dinner after work because she rarely calls at times that he'd be home, but he must have forgotten to tell her about his phone. Anyway, I almost answered it. I thought....what's the use?

Again, sorry about your grandmother. Mine had a great sense of humor too. She used to complain that my uncle would never come to visit her. He had a life sized cut out made of himself waving. He had it delivered to the nursing home. A couple of days later she asked one of the nurses if she could move the jack ass out into the hall! She was a tough, but very loving lady.

You continue to take care of yourself and we'll all continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers!!

SueS

MAZ....did you say where you're from? I'm just curious.

[MAZ]

SueS, thanks, I am glad he said something to her as well,, I will still be on pins and needles until I know she is gone though, as all of her things are still at H's place so it wouldn't be the first time she flips the situation around again, and I know H will be blaming himself for her misery and feel bad which is how she ended up at his place in the first place,, with the "she has no where else to go" etc... I didn't get to talk to H last night so still don't know what was said or how he is dealing with whatever is going on there so we'll see what happens today.

Amazing the sense of humor our grandparents can have even in the worst of times, in the hospital Friday my grandmother was just lying there, we thought she was sleeping but as much as she wasn't talking, or had her eyes closed, she still was able to tell my aunt to have my grandfather "shut up", lol because he was telling me a story she had heard 50 million times,,, so that was funny. Well going to be a very emotional day on all fronts today, so i'll check in when I get a chance. And i'm from CT

[MAZ]

Hello all, been a while since i've posted, just been crazy with the kids, summertime ya know, H still not home, still working on that, just got back the other day from a weekend in VT with H and the kids, it was nice to get away from here and the OW and all the b/s. OW got really mad that H was going away with me and the boys for the weekend and packed her stuff up and "supposedly" moved out of H's place,, so thats a start,, but now that we are back she will worm her way back i'm sure. If H lets her move back in I give up,, this is his perfect opportunity to get her out and keep her out, but I just don't know if that will happen. I am now 12 weeks pregnant, and everything so far looks good, waiting for a few test results to come back but other than that ultrasound, etc. looks good. H is doing a reversal on the being happy about it mostly he says because of our ages, and the fact that we are way past the baby stage with our boys at 15 and 13, I kinda get his point on that but what do you do. OW texted and called H at least 15-20 times while we were away this weekend but good thing about VT, lol no cell phone signal to check the messages, she has gotten very obnoxious about their relationship before we went away, posting comments on H's profile online and putting his online name into her profile commenting on how "intense" their relationship is and that it gets stronger every day.. i lost it on that one, she has taken it upon herself to tell people that she isn't concerned about me being pregnant because there is no way i can carry it to term anyway,, ummm where does she get that from? In any case the weekend with H and the boys was good, we talked a bit when we could without the kids around, but still need to talk some more. I'm not pushing too much, but I can't deal with thinking that she will find a way to get back into the middle of things again,,,especially since i know how she operates,, she moved out to get him to run back again,, i just hope he's not dumb enough to do it again..