true sugar, thats what I am afraid of as well...I said to H last nite, your coming home,, well when,, and all he said was he was making arrangements to come home,, I feel like he is probably trying to arrange for OW to take over his place,, but that is right down the street from our home,,, but until she has "somewhere" else to go he won't leave,, and i'm going to have a real hard time giving him the money for his rent this month,, almost tempted to give him half and tell her to come up with the other half... the money is the problem, H has not taken any of his paychecks, etc. from me or the kids yet, so thus the other reason i'm so torn, do I start saying no you can't have it and take that security from my kids,, or do I just keep paying what he needs until he comes home,, if he does?
MAZ Me 40 H 42 M 1990 Together 20 years Bomb 2/16/08 Separated 03/01/2008 2 boys 12 & 15
well I am about to give up,, H is doing whatever he has to for OW, even took her to a Tim McGraw concert Sunday nite (when he was supposed to stop by here for dinner), mind you he never took me ANYWHERE,,, was always too tired, etc. I'm just physically and emotionally drained... have been very cold to H since this whole concert thing, didn't txt him this morning as I usually do, told him we had to talk in the txt I sent sunday nite after I found out about the concert and he hung up on me because he didn't want to talk to me in front of OW,, and yet he calls me at work today and tells me he needs a check for his rent,, how am I supposed to give him a check for his rent when she is living with him,,,and not contributing a dime... I am just so ready to give up at this point,,, and at the same time don't want to, but I am tired of fighting, he didn't see me or the kids all weekend,, and just doesn't seem to get it.... yet still says he loves me when I do talk to him on the phone,, I must be an idiot!!!!
MAZ Me 40 H 42 M 1990 Together 20 years Bomb 2/16/08 Separated 03/01/2008 2 boys 12 & 15
((((Mzul)))) checking in to see how you are today....
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
hi sugar, ah been better,, haven't really talked to H much the last few days, I feel like every day that passes he slips further and further away from all the positive things just a few weeks ago,,, he still hasn't stopped here not at night anyway, my 15 y/o said he stopped by yesterday for about 5 minutes in the afternoon other than that he hasn't seen the kids all week either. H called this morning and said he wants to take me and the boys out to dinner saturday nite but we'll see what happens with that, asked him what his plans were for sunday and got the I don't know,, so told him well it is fathers day you know,,, got the "oh it is", I'm sure OW will plan something for that day because her 8 y/o is actually H's godson, so if he chooses to spend time with them rather than his own kids I think that'll about do it for me. I haven't called him or anything and he has called just twice all week. Haven't seen him since last thursday and doesn't even seem to phase him,, he acts like he has no time to stop here or that I am never home, tonite our 15 y/o had a baseball game and he said he would probably come to watch it "with us", of course he never showed or had the decency to call, I'm starting to lose any last bit of hope that he will be coming home and even worse I don't know that I can believe anything he says anymore, the more he's with her the more he lies. I just don't know what to do about this whole thing anymore,,, I don't want to give up but I can't fight for something I don't even get to see anymore...we'll see what the weekend holds i guess... thanks for checking in, i'll keep you posted-- I hope all is ok with you as well.
MAZ Me 40 H 42 M 1990 Together 20 years Bomb 2/16/08 Separated 03/01/2008 2 boys 12 & 15
well H spent the day with me and the kids for fathers day, was a rainy damp day so we had breakfast, then went out bowling for a few hours then to a late lunch before he had to go to work, it was a good day, except OW kept calling H and fighting with him "because he didn't call her" so that put a damper on H's mood a bit. He still felt the need to txt her everytime she sent him something and call, yell then hang up. H and I didn't get much alone time to talk but being fathers day and the fact that OW was being a bit** I figured I wouldn't start that because it would have only led to a disagreement. Anyway, here it is Wednesday, and I called H to tell him we have to talk, really talk,, as it appears that I am now pregnant. I don't know what to do,, I don't want him coming back just because of this but I know I can't do it alone. I don't know if he will even come back, he agreed we do need to sit and talk, but seemed happy when I mentioned why we needed to talk. I don't know what to do,,, with everything going on right now this couldn't have happened at a worse time... I can hear OW now telling H that I did it on purpose,, hey ya know what,,this would be the last thing I wanted to happen right now,, do I consider this a blessing or just more bad timing,,,just something else to worry about now..especially since I haven't been eating much of anything the last few months, etc. so I go to the dr. july 1, to see how things are... things just get better and better...
MAZ Me 40 H 42 M 1990 Together 20 years Bomb 2/16/08 Separated 03/01/2008 2 boys 12 & 15
First of all, congratulations. A blessing? Yes, of course. Bad timing? Yep, but that's ok too. I promise. Go read in Newcomers (either blindsided or JennyF's thread).
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I don't want him coming back just because of this but I know I can't do it alone.
Yes you can do this. I can guarantee you can do this alone if you have to.
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especially since I haven't been eating much of anything the last few months,
Time for your game face. This is serious. Eat. If you can't eat, drink lots of water and supplement (not diet!) shakes. Rest. You know the drill. You are responsible for staying healthy. Do you hear me young lady?
it was a good day, except OW kept calling H and fighting with him "because he didn't call her" so that put a damper on H's mood a bit. He still felt the need to txt her everytime she sent him something and call, yell then hang up.
Mzul...after a few nasty go rounds with this I just simply told H that while he is here or with my kids the phone is to turned on vibrate and that there is NO texting or talking to OW. It is inappropriate and just not something that I am willing to tolerate. Its a good place to start with setting boundaries.
Originally Posted By: mzul68
as it appears that I am now pregnant. I don't know what to do,, I don't want him coming back just because of this but I know I can't do it alone. I don't know if he will even come back, he agreed we do need to sit and talk, but seemed happy when I mentioned why we needed to talk. I don't know what to do,,, with everything going on right now this couldn't have happened at a worse time... I can hear OW now telling H that I did it on purpose,, hey ya know what,,this would be the last thing I wanted to happen right now,, do I consider this a blessing or just more bad timing,,,just something else to worry about now..especially since I haven't been eating much of anything the last few months, etc. so I go to the dr. july 1, to see how things are... things just get better and better...
Oh congratulations!!!!! Even at the best of times learning you are pregnant is a scary thing. All babies are blessings and few ever are the product of perfect timing. You just need to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! You have to eat and rest and just focus on you. As far as what OW will say...who cares? Opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has one and hers really doesn't count. You are in my prayers and listen to lwb. How are along are you?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I hear you LWB, lol. thank you everyone for your congratulations, don't get me wrong, I am happy, but with the situation the way it is right now I can't help but not be as excited as I would be under different circumstances. Sugar, i'm probably around 6 weeks, at least when I talked to the dr. yesterday on the phone they figure i'll be about 8 wks when i go there on the 1st. so that is why i worry about my bad habits over the last few weeks as far as not eating, etc. I also smoke but I stopped that last nite, thats going to be a tough one with all the stress going on. I did start taking pre-natal vitamins this morning and at least having some orange juice or something in the morning, so baby steps. I did talk to H at about 1:00 a.m. this morning when he called from work,, and we talked a bit,, but we are supposed to meet after my sons baseball game tonite to talk some more. He asked what I wanted to do... and I told him I know what I don't want to do but that we just needed to talk. I told him that i assumed he doesn't want me to have a baby right now and he said that is not the case at all, that he is concerned because we are older now, the whole starting over with diapers, daycare, etc again and the 12 year difference in our youngest now and having another child now....he did say it was a pleasant surprise, but not good timing, so who knows, at least he isn't running the other way, not yet anyway,, we'll see what happens when we talk tonite. He left me a message on my cell this morning saying it was nice talking to me last nite even though it was just for a little while. i'll keep you posted on how it goes tonite. H hasn't mentioned any of this to OW yet so i can only imagine how that will go over, just nervous about how this will go tonite,,,
MAZ Me 40 H 42 M 1990 Together 20 years Bomb 2/16/08 Separated 03/01/2008 2 boys 12 & 15
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
