It is hard. I want to pick up the phone just to talk to my H but know I can't. Although I have in the past, I am trying to give him some time to miss me. I worry, though, what if he decides he doesn't? It's strange. You know, basically I am happy. I have a decent job, have a little apartment that suits me for now. I miss him. I miss the smell of his skin, the way he would hug me, the way we talked. I can go back now and look and see alot was missing those last couple of months. I just thought he was dealing with the unhappiness in his job, and needed some space. I had no idea that he was thinking of leaving me. I wonder if I had known, what would I have done different? I know I am not supposed to look at the past, only the future. I know that I didn't pay enough attention, and he didn't tell me he was so miserable. I know I would change that if I could get another chance. God...I hope I get that chance...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
It is okay to look at the past as long as it is ONLY in the context of learning how to do it better in the future.
No blaming yourself for things you can't change, no beating yourself up over it. Just pulling out things to try if there is a next time. Brainstorming different ways to handle the R to see what works. And also remembering what DID work and reminding yourself to do more of it.
Originally Posted By: LolaL
Although I have in the past, I am trying to give him some time to miss me. I worry, though, what if he decides he doesn't?
You have no control over it. BUT odds are he does and will. Just like you think about the things you miss about him, little things about you will bubble up. He almost certainly does miss you, it's what he does about it that will matter in the long run.
Hang in there. Time is on your side. Be patient.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I feel completely humiliated. I did something so stupid last night that I am not sure this will recover. I sent my H a text propositioning him. It was stupid, I know, and I am beating myself up. He never even responded. Its a horrible thing to miss him so much, just the comfort of his arms around me, and not have that. Not only that, but its just not my style to make the first move like that. I am not even sure why I did it, except that I miss the human contact from him. I feel wretched.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Dont worry about it I had that same backslide many times we're only human. Mine would be even worse because I would proposition her in person and get rejected in person each time (ouch). Don't beat yourself up too much for being human life does that for you enough already. God Bless.
Me 38 WAW 29 D 4 Married 9 Together 11 Bomb June 07 Separated Jan 08 Reconciled May 08 awesome, happy, and blessed
Thank you. I guess I will just back off for a while, and do some work on myself. I think the embarrassment will take a while to subside so that shouldn't be too hard lol. I just hope there is still hope and that I didn't screw things up too badly.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Okay. I guess my biggest problem is that this is the first time I have ever done anything like that. The rejection is hard to take, and we had been making progress. Two steps forward, three steps back. I know it will be okay, and that I will probably punish myself more than anyone else will. For now, you are right Michelle, I will just breath.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Yeah, the rejection bites. In the last 18 months I have been rejected on every level possible - including some I didn't know were possible. Not exactly good for the ego.
It'll be fine though. (((big hug)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
{{{Michelle}}} Thanks. Although I hate that other people are going through this too, its nice to know when someone else knows how it feels.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
So what do I do? Just ignore the whole thing and pretend it never happened?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
