I find the best way to find a therapist is word of mouth. Anyone in your cop circle getting MC. I'm sure more are than you know about.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Even better, you can ask your current c for some recommendations. She is sure to know who is pro-marriage and a hard-ass (in a gentle way).
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
well tommorow is moving day. i will work all night and then go strait into a move. me and my wife had such a nice house, and now we both get to move into small apartments. lately i dont know if i finaly detached or if i hit the numb phase but i dont feel much. could just be the exsaustion. i will try to contact another C monday. folks i hope i shake this funk soon. i fell my hope and love dwindeling. ahh who am i kidding. every time i feel this way i just have too see her fce to face and i fall inlove all over.
well i woke up in the new place and I feel like lonelyest man alive today. my W and I no longer havea mutual place to call our own. i guess i realy didnt mind tre times she stoped over at out old place, aas at least she was still in my life at least on the perifiral. now ...
Gal is great and getting out seeems to help but there are times when im alone and then i get very depressed. It would be so wonderfull to at least know if my W thought about me, but when I called her yesturday to tell her I had taken the care of the cabel at the old place she said "thanks and have a great day" then prombly let me go.
I know I can mnake it on my own, its just my W is missd and I feel her loss badly today. sorry for the rant.
Just so you know Marcum you're not alone with the feelings you have. Our feelings are almost identical and I sympathize with your position. I'm sitting here watching my stbxw dismantalling what was our life together and feeling totally helpless to stop it. Not to mention the overwhelming sadness watching it happen.
The advice on my thread was that "it ain't over 'til its over" and time is not a barrier to the possibility of a new start.
You'll get through this, I'll get through this. Gotta have faith in God's will for us.
well here i am at a empase ( SP?) I realy dont know what to do about my sitch any more. what i mean to say is do I go dark or do I keep trying to make th =e minimal contacts. any info would be great.
I am looking fo another MC but the more i think about it the nadder i get. My ww W was fine when the MC was pointing out my flaws, but as soon as it stopped being a pitty party for her and more of a constructive thning, now she fels " picked on" thats the most rediculious thing in the world to me. I just dont understand how she can justify this last desision as being even remotly working on anything
I feel more and more helpless as these days go on about my sitch. that dosent mean i feel like i cant go on without her, in fact in getting used to not haveing her around, and thats the scary part. my W has pushed me into a mindset were she has been so friigin absent in my life these last 6 months i dont know how to bridge the gap she has creasted. thats the helpless part. every move i do in countered so completly in a way my heart and mind are giving up.
I dont want to lose my W but every thing I do or dont do is wrong, so how do I stop if if she is makeing it a enevitable march twords the big D.
I said a prayer for you when I woke up this morning. I don't know what triggered it, but I was thinking about you and I thought I should pray.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
thanks ladey B. I just think I am going to contact her one mor time about us cleaning our old place now that we are both moved out. if she bites on that then I will call her again to see a movie on thursday....i think GOD I HATE THIS!!!!! if i draw back im told " you dont contact me enough" and she finds it easy to let me go. if i try to do things she says she has plans with her friends. sigh another day in paradise. Im am very much contimplating the LRT. just going dark and seeing is she comes twords me at all because right now i feel like crap all the time doing all the work.
I think if I was invited to come clean the old house, I wouldn't see it as a gesture to connect, I'd interpret that as, "you lived here too, you need to come clean it up." What I'm trying to say is that I'd be annoyed. She SHOULD by all means help you clean it up, but don't think of that as an extension of you "reaching out to her." She really won't see it that way. UNLESS cleaning is her thing, and she REALLY likes it. It might be huge if you called her and said, "I cleaned the house for us, so don't worry about it. I know you've been busy, so I didn't call you." OR she might not even think she needs to help clean since she's been out for so long, it which case that last message would piss her off... Man, your wife confuses me!
As far as LRT, that's a tough one with her. She's made it clear that she wants you to reach out to her, but at the same time, everytime you do, it bites you...and she gets mad. Personally, I think she needs some LRT. She needs some time to miss you, and NOT hear from you, and think about what the heck is going on.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
GOD I HATE THIS!!!!! if i draw back im told " you dont contact me enough" and she finds it easy to let me go. if i try to do things she says she has plans with her friends. sigh another day in paradise. Im am very much contimplating the LRT. just going dark and seeing is she comes twords me at all because right now i feel like crap all the time doing all the work.