I started an email today to my H to let him know that I realize that he does not love me and I cannot change it by being sad or wishing it wasn't true. He wants to be free and I may tell him to be free today. I want my H back but I don't know what else to do.It is not what I want but I don't know what else to do. He doesn't want to be with me and going dark with him living down stairs is not something I can do. any advice?
M-33 H-31 D-13 Bomb 2/29/08 H out 2/29/08 H back in 5/08
Im so sorry you have to go through this. I really cant offer much advice because i am in the same boat as you. however mine just sleeps at another womans house. he hasnt slept at home for about two weeks now. It hurts, but im not giving up. even though he texted me and said he wanted a divorce and me to leave, im not leaving. im just going to let him have his space for now. Ive gotten the whole just leave him you will be better off lecture from everyone. But thats not what i want, even though its what he wants. I married him because i love him.
My advice would be, for starters, to pick a DB forum on which to post, and keep your story going there. Looking at your recent posts, you're all over the place, on half a dozen boards, asking each forum a question based on bits and pieces of your situation and history. It will be easier for people to help you if you stick to one place.
I'd suggest this one, the "Infidelity" forum, since your husband has been unfaithful and there are unique dynamics at work when there is an affair.
There is a WORLD of things you can do in between "totally accepting what he's doing and telling him to 'be free'" and "pursuing/needy/grabby" behavior. It is in that middle ground that you'll find your best results.
Is he still contacting the other woman? Is he seeing her?
I guess I have to learn how to use this outlet better...I switch where I post based on the subject.Sorry about He is not seeing the OW.I told him in the beginning that he was crayz if he thought she would not have expectations of him if he left me for her. He said he gave that some thought and he never had any intention of having a relationship with her so therefore he should not see her/talk to her anymore.He also promised my D he was done with her. I have tried to be friends but it is so hard. I start to feel like he has interest and then he reminds me that he does not. I know that I still have so much to go through with him getting the apartment and all. Putting my feelings aside and not telling him I am sad is difficult too. I have shared everything with him for the last 12 years. Today is mothers day.He gave me my gift on Friday and I saw that as a good indicator that I would not be seeing him today.He woke up and left the house this morning while I was at church. I have not called him.I am afraid to speak with him actually. The last time I spoke with him was not that good. I have a slight feeling like he might say these things for me today and that I might not have a choice.
M-33 H-31 D-13 Bomb 2/29/08 H out 2/29/08 H back in 5/08
