Nothing new to update. H left for work not too long ago. He's working graveyard again, then is supposed to be off Monday through Thursday. Actually, I think he mentioned that he has a safety program to attend on Wednesday, so he'll be busy with that.
Anyhow, it would be nice to see him do something with me tomorrow, Tuesday, or Thursday, but I won't expect anything to happen. I almost want to just ask, but with everything that's gone on lately, I don't want to deal with the rejection.
I'm being negative, aren't I?
Looking forward to this coming weekend though! The boys and I are going to Tower Park with the rest of my family, so that should be loads of fun ! I told H about it, and of course invited him along, but he has to work. I asked if it was possible for him to trade shifts with someone else. He said, "Yeah, I guess I could if I really wanted to.".......And that's just it. He doesn't want to.
*Shrugs* Oh well. I guess it's ok for now, but it won't be forever.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I actually wanted to comment on something in your last thread where your H stated that all the rest of the wives were ok with the H's being out at 4 am.
When we went to MC my H said that I was the only wife who tried to tell him when to come home or what he could do. All his friends could do what they wanted(not so but his statement).
He has/had 2 best friends, Pat and Bob. Bob does whatever he wants never with his wife, lost his home and lives in low income housing, Pat is married has a lot to show for it and does a lot with his wife. We all used to do things together but Bob would show up to all couples things alone. The three have been best friends since grade school.
Today H makes the oddest comment that Pat's wife has ruined his life because he can't do anything, he isn't allowed to go out or hang out with his friends. This is the same guy who said I was the only one of his wife's friends who told them what to do.
I looked at him, so Pat's life is ruined? Because he has a happy marriage and he isn't acting like he is still in highschool? I wonder where the brain washing is taking place?
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
We had another R talk.....I'm so tired of them , and I can't try to avoid them because that just makes H even angrier. During this one, he said, "So if this doesn't work, how often are you going to let me have the kids?" I was a little taken aback by that and asked, "Is that what you want?" He said, "I just want to know how much I'm going to be able to see them." I really don't remember much more than that. Just another stupid argument about miscommunication.
He did send me a TM about an hour ago saying, "I know it probably doesn't matter but I am sorry". I replied back with, "Don't know if you'll even get this but I'm sorry too". (For some odd reason, H doesn't receive my TMs. I get his, but he says he doesn't get mine. ) So I was thinking I'd call him in a couple of hours when work usually gets slow out there.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
The boys and I are going to Tower Park with the rest of my family, so that should be loads of fun
Camping?? or boating
Originally Posted By: GoingForward
I told H about it, and of course invited him along, but he has to work. I asked if it was possible for him to trade shifts with someone else. He said, "Yeah, I guess I could if I really wanted to
Don't read anything into this. IT is just a saying..
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
My mom said camping - they actually rented a cabin - but my stepdad does have a boat, so I'm betting he's taking it, too.
You from around there? I've never been or even heard of Tower Park! I've lived such a sheltered life, seriously!
Originally Posted By: husband
Originally Posted By: GoingForward
I told H about it, and of course invited him along, but he has to work. I asked if it was possible for him to trade shifts with someone else. He said, "Yeah, I guess I could if I really wanted to
Don't read anything into this. IT is just a saying..
H
I know I shouldn't, but it's hard not to. I've lived with these kinds of statements for years, and I guess I've just come to expect nothing out of them. Meaning, H will choose to do nothing. 99% of the time, this is what happens.
Besides, I know he still isn't ready to hang around my family yet.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I'm from "chicken town"....I go camping at the coast and used to go boating in lake Sonoma and Clear lake. BUT... I sold my boat so w could buy a car.. Son and I would sure enjoy that boat now...If I only knew..
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Anyhow, it would be nice to see him do something with me tomorrow, Tuesday, or Thursday, but I won't expect anything to happen. I almost want to just ask, but with everything that's gone on lately, I don't want to deal with the rejection.
Understandable, but I still think you should ask. ...His friends are going to beat you to it!!! If you ask him and he says no...then ends up doing something with friends...then it would be time to have a SERIOUS talk with him about priorities and that looming date in June.
I hear ya, Husband! The money I spent on buying my H a new wedding band for Christmas (while he was in the midst of his EA).....Geez, I sometimes wish I hadn't! But of course, it's all in hindsight.
Originally Posted By: klm
If you ask him and he says no...then ends up doing something with friends...then it would be time to have a SERIOUS talk with him about priorities and that looming date in June.
Well seeing as we won't be able to do anything alone (no one to watch the kids during his days off), I think I'll ask if we can all go out to dinner as a family on Thursday (other things are going on from now through Wednesday). If he says no.....and his friends end up coming over...... ......YES. We WILL be having that talk.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Well....no need to have that talk. H and I had another R talk earlier this afternoon and again just a couple of hours ago.
Can't post much right now - I have to get the boys to bed and I am also babysitting my 3yo niece (H is out in the man-cave) - but I believe H and I are going to go through with the D. I just cannot try to make this work all on my own with someone who says they "don't get along with you (me), don't like talking to you, and just don't want to do anything with you at all".
I tried notifying the moderators a couple of times, asking them to take my story out of the "Another Divorce Busted!" forum, ever since it was brought to my attention that they had done so. Why they haven't taken it off so or even responded are beyond me.
All I wanted was for him to meet me halfway, and he can't....he WON'T.....do it. He chooses to not even try.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
The boys and I are going to Tower Park with the rest of my family, so that should be loads of fun 
! I told H about it, and of course invited him along, but he has to work. I asked if it was possible for him to trade shifts with someone else. He said, "Yeah, I guess I could if I really wanted to.".......And that's just it. He doesn't want to.
*Shrugs* 
, and I can't try to avoid them because that just makes H even angrier. During this one, he said, "So if this doesn't work, how often are you going to let me have the kids?" I was a little taken aback by that and asked, "Is that what you want?" He said, "I just want to know how much I'm going to be able to see them." I really don't remember much more than that. Just another stupid argument about miscommunication.
......YES. We WILL be having that talk.