somebody stop me

[whatdidido]

if you've read my other thread you know my story.....I'm in need of someone to talk some sense into me. I remembered an old yahoo account that I had about a year ago, and in my thoughts of OM I went there to see if there was anything and then to delete it. I've deleted it now, but I saw the messages....of course he had sent a couple of messages that made my heart break...I know he is hurting and I want to reach out to him. I've been laying in bed all day holding myself back. I know I need to do something to keep myself busy .......when will this end....I'm starting to wonder if you really CAN move on after an A. Can I ever love again....I'm really starting to wonder....... I know I know...it is wrong, God does NOT want me to do this.....I know I have to give it time....all those things don't seem to make this better. I understand h4h's wife and cbk's wife and jeff's wife....I am them.....maybe just tell me again what I already know.....I need SOMETHING or I am going to message him....Friday's was our time together. It's funny but I think I found out that he lied to me about something...saw other girls on this facebook thingy that he said he took off of his yahoo....that doesn't deter me, makes me even more want to talk to him to straighten that issue up......this is so crazy

[near the end]

Call somebody close who knows your situation and will hold you accountable! Shame yourself into doing the right thing. Works for emergencies.

[whatdidido]

Ok going to go call her in the car. Going to get out of the house.

[JeffSTL]

pick one person to hurt and move on

[GoingForward]

pick one person to hurt and move on

JeffSTL, was this really called for?

Whatdidido is here for help. How was that helpful?

I've seen some WASs or about-to-be WASs come to the BB asking for guidance, only then to see them leave the board because of some LBS's thoughtless, harsh words.

Let's not take our personal anguish out on them. Instead, let's hear what they have to say.

LBSs and WASs.....We can all learn a great deal from one another.



Whatdidido, I'm glad you're getting out of the house. Keep yourself busy. You've come to this BB for help and understanding because deep down you DO want to salvage your M. I commend you for that.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I guess you have a decision to make, WDID. You already know what the right thing to do is; you've even vocalized it. We can't make it for you.

Let us know what you do.

Puppy

[hopeful4her]

wdid,

I'm not able to understand what you are going through. I can only imagine the pain that you are feeling. We have only been able to get a glimpse of what our WAS are feeling or thinking based on what you post. No way we can feel what you feel.

You have given us some great advise here.

Go to church. Call the friend that will give good counsel. Maybe a priest or pastor.

Have you seen the movies that show drug addicts going through withdrawls. That is what you are going through, except yours is not physical. It is emotional. I think it may be harder.

In the end, it is you. It is your life to live. You can rely on no one else but yourself.

You have support here if you choose.

[JeffSTL]

JeffSTL, was this really called for?
Whatdidido is here for help. How was that helpful?

I'm sorry, to everyone especially whatdidido, you have been very helpful to me, I didn't mean to be harsh.

You hurt, OM hurts, H hurts, its got to end, the only way out is to make a decision and stick it out. Any decision you make will leave one person left out.

Please don't leave DB world, your input is very helpful

[L21959]

(((Wdid))) --

I can only imagine the pain you are feeling...although I can imagine how very real it is. But I can tell you about the pain your H and S will feel if you go back to OM...

As a woman whose H is in the midst of a very intense, passionate longterm A (although he thinks it's all still hidden), I would give the world to have my H give me a fighting chance to work through our problems together.

Please give your very best effort to work through this, to turn away from OM and work through your pain, and to make the choice to work together with H toward a R you are both happy with.

Do it for your S...he alone is blameless in all this. He deserves nothing less than you feeling you've left no stone unturned...

L2

[kat727]

oh hon, I am sorry. Take a deep breath. Look in the mirror and see who you want to be. From what you have posted and the guidance you have been giving, you want to be with your husband and son. All the "highs" you were experiencing with OM are not going to be there, at least not now and certainly not all of the time, with your family.
When you were with OM you were not being "yourself" because that person was a wife and mother and you were pushing those thing aside in favor of the feelings you were experiencing(romantic love, puppy love, the rush you get as a teenager). So OM isn't really in love with the real you, it is the fantasy he has feelings for. The fantasy is what you have feeling for.
Now I don't know many people who don't love a love story and at the end the family becomes whole, complete. They just don't show you the work that has to happen. There will be one step forward, two step back days. There will be days where you will start to feel truly alive again. Trust yourself.
Don't got to your old e-mail account. Make sure your cell number is changed. Don't let yourself create any temtations.
We are here, when you feel yourself start to cave come here, vent all you want, write down your fears and your hopes. You will get through this.
kat