Sorry to start a thread with questions but I have read a lot of what your H wrote and it helps to pick his brain a little to make some sense out of all this...I know everyone is different but it helps to hear what the MLCer was actually feeling even if he/she was acting differently..
I have a question for you about your H who was in MLC...what were his feelings when he would leave your home after visiting with you or the kids...would he feel sad, angry...or not care...
My H leaves like nothing is bothering him...if I get home while he is with the kids...he hurries to get out of here...like he can't be around me at all...it hurts...
My current thread is "how do they walk away"
Thanks Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I can tell you that my H hated leaving but in order for us not to see his true emotions, he would hold it all in until he got in his car and drove away.
He would tell me, "you don't know how many times I wanted to stay...."
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
When my H left that day...he got in his car and left without looking back or looking at me...I was crying and he knew it....I held it as long as I could but......I cried for 2 hours after that... My H has so much pride that he won't cry in front of me...he wants me to get over it and see how well he is doing without me...
I asked a friend last night if he thought my H thinks about me and his response was, "every day".... I think in my heart I know that but his actions say something else....
I am going to update on my thread...feel free to stop by...
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
This is all so new for you. What H told me about wanting to stay--he just admitted this in the last few months and he has been in MLC for almost 4 years now.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Looks like my H has been in this crap for 8 years......and i didn't even know it.....that is killing me..
I have so many questions but am afraid of the answers.....does that make sense...
It's eating at me....and I'm trying not to let it...
SF; How are you so strong?? In my heart I believe my H will come home...in my head....well, he's gone forever.....he told me to move on.....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
It's BFM - I'm just logged in under FW's name right now and didn't feel like logging him off and me back on.
Anyway, to answer your question. FW never really acted like it was any big deal to leave our house when he would go, but he told me after he came back that there were many times that he would be crying before he even reached the end of the driveway.
He has said that he missed us, missed the house, missed the dogs, but felt that he had done so much damage that there was no way he could come back.
He felt that he needed to go through with the divorce because of all the damage he had caused and just get it all behind us.
He never acted as if he hated to leave until the very end right before he came home.
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I'm just now seeing the thread since our internet at work is not being seriously monitored and I seldom get on from home.
BFM
"When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Helen Keller
BFM; Thanks for stopping by to answer my questions...I'm just trying to understand just a little...I know we'll never really figure it out....
My H has never taken my kids to stay with him at his sister's since he left...he just seems like he is having the time of his life...i'm scared because he has been seeing this OW for 1 1/2 years .....secretly of course...she went through with her divorce in December so I'm sure she is giving him all kinds of advice as to what to do...He is never mean to me, but says things to hurt my feelings....like...it's over, you need to accept it, or "we are only married on paper"...even told my D15 that...told D15 he has a girlfriend and she is a good person...BS...a good person would not sleep with a married man..H says he doesn't want to be married anymore...doesn't find me attractive and won't hug me cause I'll think there is hope for us....hurts right to the core....
Tonight I did terrible DBing....I asked H if he would take me for a ride on the motorcycle sometime...after a 10 sec pause...dead silence...he was like,,,aaaaaaa yea...very quietly...so now that is what is swirling around in my head...he doesnt want to but he didn't say no because he didn't want to get in to an R talk which I haven't done....when do you know that they are truly not coming home?? or do you?? are his words telling me so??After all he says he's not "in love" with me anymore...
right now it is killing me to know he is with her out on the motorcycle...it is beautiful out and he is having the time of his life with her...SUCKS!!! And maybe he is happy now with her...and all along it was ME.....
All I know is I want the pain to stop and I know it is up to me but how do you get over the hump....I dont' even have a desire to see anyone else....I miss my H and I want my family back....
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Bob Steinkamp's books about Prodigals that you can find at the Charlyne Cares website.
They are very helpful and many here have read them. I gave mine away.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
