I am new to this website. My wife and I have been seperated for a year.I went through a midlife crisis when I got out of the military and had a hard time finding work. I didn't communicate well with my wife and shut her out. Finally we seperated. I realized that it was a huge mistake. I did the normal begging and pleading but nothing worked. I stopped communicating with her again after she said no. After a couple of months I found out she was seeing someone. I was devestated. I called and begged for another chance. She said not right now, but did leave the possibility open in the future.I decided that I needed to find a way to win her back and found Divorce Busting at the bookstore. Im glad I did. I have been going about things the wrong way. I signed up for telephone coaching and have started the last resor method. I really hope things work out. Anyone else have a similar situation.
Welcome to divorcebusting.com. You are doing the right the...the Last Resort Technique is the place to start for you....because you will be sure not to do things to make the situation WORSE.
Chappy...what are the things that are going well for you? What are or have been the strengths in your relationship?
sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
We used to have a lot of fun hanging out together and communicated well. We would go to movies and dinner together at least twice a month. We have three children(boys). We enjoyed going to ball games together. Now we are seperated and live in different states. She is seeing someone else. We have just started talking on the phone more. Mostly about the children. And we are starting to email more. Also about the children. I want to get back together, but sometimes it seems hopeless because she is now seeing someone. Its hard not to be really jealous and hurt.
I want to get back together, but sometimes it seems hopeless because she is now seeing someone. Its hard not to be really jealous and hurt. Sometimes your feelings won't let you see the situation clearly.
We have just started talking on the phone more. Mostly about the children. And we are starting to email more. Also about the children. You are doing something right....or the communication would be LESS, even with kids.
I went through a midlife crisis when I got out of the military and had a hard time finding work.
How did this come about/
Last edited by sgctxok; 04/25/0803:50 AM.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
It came about because I was having a hard time finding a job. I started to miss the military. Then I started to think maybe I would be happier if I was not married. I was feeling angry and confused. I started to shut my wife out and not communicate with her. I know it had to hurt her very much. Now I am working again at the job I tried so hard to get and realize that she is far more important than any job. I blamed her unfairly for how I was feeling. I am thinking about switching jobs when I am able to be closer to the family. I just hope it is not too late.
It's never too late and as active duty military and divorced I can tell you this.....COMMUNICATIO IS EVERYTHING....it was true in the military and is even more so as a civilian. If you have that line open, anything is possible. Yes, it seems fruitless when the other person is seeing someone else and pays on the mind constantly...you could be watching a crapp commercial, and then it hits you again...what is she doing, where is she going, is she thinking about me.....all things that prevent you from GAL. Sometimes you just have to go on your marry way and let things play out. She MAY come back to you...I'm sure you have read about a 1000 of these threads...I know I did and still am. But, the point is, you never know what is going to happen....you can't see into the future and start planning for a reconcilliation party....you will be hanging on forever. Try to live your life one day at a time and live like you were suppose to in the beginning or middle of your "old" relationship.
Thanks. I i know I have to work on getting my life back together. Sometimes it is really hard not to think about her seeing someone else. I keep wanting to tell her to stop and come back, but I know I have to be patient. I am doing telephonme coaching and trying to take the right steps. Its hard, but I plan on sticking with it. The jealousy is the hardest thing to deal with.
Me and my wife have been talking about the possibility of me going back to school and then getting a job close to home to be near the kids. She said that I could stay at the house with the kids while at school. I asked her where she would be staying and she said probably she would move closer to her work. I was hoping we would be in the same house, but I think that that would be expecting too much right now. We have been living apart for a year and she is seeing someone else. At least there is a little bit more communication.
Went and visited the kids. They stayed with me at hotel. Wife doesn't want me staying at house because boyfriend stays over some nights. Really frustrating to stay at hotel with kids so wife can be with another man. Doesnt seem to be much progress.Still not much communication other than about the kids. Im just wondering how long it can go on like this.
