Wow, these sitch's are parallel to mine. My W is adamant that D is the best thing for her and come hell or high water she is going to get it. Funny thing that I see in your post Goodfight is that my good days are outnumbering her good days right now. Which is just the way it should be. I know you all are going to be fine one way or another, and that is very important for them to see. I have hope for you all!
I have hope, but the hope lies in S. will be okay, Dad will be okay and I have done everything I could to rebuild the M. There isn't anything I haven't tried.
In regards, to her, I believe she will see the light some day, and I hope it doesn't damage her further. Knowing the person she is and the amount of guilt she already feels I worry it can consume her. She is so prideful and doesn't ever ask for help.
I picture it as keeping a little space open for her, and she can enter with actions, not words. But I have let go for the most part, and I feel pretty good most days, even when she is miserable I just roll and handle the work, the house work, and our S. Meanwhile some days are a real struggle for her.
What is comical about it, is she filed not me and she has more bad days then I do. What is also laughable is I offer her opportunities to visit the folks and go out with friends and I just go about my business. Meanwhile she tells me she feels trapped. She is trapped, but it is not me who is trapping her, until she figures it out on her own there is nothing more I can do.
That is strange. I offer invites for her to go to my family functions also. She usually declines especially since I told my mom and dad about the D.
My W has cut me out of all her family stuff. It is pretty amazing. Must be the guilt.
What I meant was I offer her chances to go by herself with her friends or to her parents. She still goes to my parents house sometimes by herself with S. Sometimes I politley excuse myself, it is one thing to be at the house and live the scenario. It is completely different when I have to with my parents around also. In addition, she is less likely to talk or act like herself around my parents, not that she says bad things, she just clams up around them.
I can't stand that, that is a trigger so I minimize the together visits to my parents. It is also awkward for my parents at times. Bottom line the sitch sucks, it sucks we are here, but we are here for a reason. We will fix ourselves and improve our relationship skills. For whatever purpose that fills in the future this is why we are in this situation.
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
W had a meeting...it's a legit meeting (GL) I checked.
I had to laugh at you for that one M. I guess you know I still have not ruled it out yet huh? LOL....
My question is this: You say that you checked. Please fill me in on exactly what you did when you say you "checked."
I am trying to see if your "rodeo" skills are still intact.
Emails from her boss. Her Boss is riding with her. Her boss is a woman. I know, an A could also be with a woman. I'm watching all I can within reason. Some things I can't watch without professional assistance. This meeting only happens once every few months.
M - I was reading on a different post that you are still going to MC. I am struggling with whether I should go or not. As you know by my thread, I am going back and forth. You and I are in the same boat as far as MC - W wants us to be friends, I want to save the M. I wouldn't call this MC, not even C really. But you seem like you think it a good idea to stay. Interested in your thoughts.
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
M - I was reading on a different post that you are still going to MC. I am struggling with whether I should go or not. As you know by my thread, I am going back and forth. You and I are in the same boat as far as MC - W wants us to be friends, I want to save the M. I wouldn't call this MC, not even C really. But you seem like you think it a good idea to stay. Interested in your thoughts.
CBK
Well, the MC helps me. I feel it's my only time when I can talk about the R and feel that it won't be a backslide. that may be DAM thinking on my part but that's what I feel. It's a time when my W can talk also. She may say that she is going for the freindship after the D but when she talks in MC it gives me ideas on what she was feeling, why WE failed, what I can do to be better.
The MC is very much pro marriage and wants us to reconcile. I believe the MC thinks she can help us. I went to the MC by myself last app. The MC is someone who WE/I can talk to who will be objective. It has helped me. That's why I continue. If my W goes then that gives me hope that therte will someday be an us.
The MC has called my W out once and I feel that if I can get my W to go again then what the MC says might just help my W to SEE what SHE is doing.
I don't know. I wish I would have gone years ago but pride stopped me. if my W won't go I intend to go see someone, hopefully the same person. I feel better after I taljk to her and don't feel like all hope is lost.
I don't know where my MC is coming from. I feel everytime I leave, my W is getting justification for leaving. I am going to give it another shot, really sit on my hands and listen to what she is saying. I get to wrapped up in emotion sometimes. I know W is just waiting for me to crack so she can go back and write in her journal - see, he still doesn't get it...
Good luck to you M - we both need a lot of it!
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
Mike, are you going to try what in MC what we talked about last week?
Yes, going to try it. Ping-I feel sort of lost today. Don't really no what to do. Did not get much sleep last night due tot he D being up all night. I started out Ok this morning but am feeling a bit antsy as the day gos on.
I feel stuck. I wish my W would work on us with me. I feel stuck real bad right now. Like I don't know what to do.
