Kiki I understand exactly what you wrote. I miss my H, as a person too. When I do talk to him, which isn't that often, it leaves me feeling unbalanced though. It's weird. Sometimes he's short and curt, when ow is around, then he will call and chat for a couple of minutes about the D or kids when she's not around and it sounds almost like the old him. Granted he doesn't call very often usually it's just a "are the kids home?" and nothing else if even that.
I don't know how you see your H at games and things and live through it when he is like a stranger. That would be so hard.
Thank you for stopping by LWB. Sometimes you just do. And you just cant pretend.
Hi, shades. I can probaby say your H at least talks to you about the kids.
My H told me we can't talk until all this is over. He can't put any emotion inthis.
My D7 is doing karate on Wd. with H and i had no idea. She has mentioned it o me.
At the games, I just see H as someone else. A parent that is not there for me. i enjoy myself and focus on d7.
The last game was wierd. But i just deal. h even walked D7 to my door afterwards. Something he hasntdone in awhile. I have learned not to think about it all.
Yes, sometimes you just do. I don't know if it's easier or not to have them talk to you about the kids. Just different. It's all a bit like living in the twilight zone.
hey girl)))))))) glad you are able to voice your feelings without falling apart. Yes, I also would like to talk to stbx as a person, out latest angry arguments have pushed us apart, but as we have children we must have some decent communication, it took a lot from me to understand that, that I must accept he isnt' my H anymore but that still I need to have some communication with him.
The next level, is to wish them well, for a while I was thinking ill against him and ow, but I realized, whatever happens to them, good or bad, won't make me a better person or help me have a better life. Hope all goes well as he tries to make a new life for himself, wish it were with me, but if not, at least I hope he puts himself together for himself and the kids.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Hi kiki- Even though I do see glimmers of my old H from time to time, I too can relate to how you feel. It is like accepting the death of your spouse. You love and miss them but (at least for now) they are gone...but what makes it even more painful is that they still among the living.
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My H told me we can't talk until all this is over. He can't put any emotion inthis.
This is so typical of someone in MLC but so bizzare to someone who thinks rationally. As you probably already know, this as just another way for your H to continue to avoid dealing with the issues. I see this with my H where he thinks when he finally reaches some "goal", then he will have more answers...but the answers don't always come. I have such trouble understanding why they have such fear of looking within themselves for the answers they are looking for.
I admire your strength and your ability to accept things for what they are. From all of the things you have said here, I believe you are fairly well healed and ready to enjoy all the happiness that comes your way.
