I've dropped the rope for good and I'm moving forward with my life, Braveheart. My husband is not interested in getting back together. He seems content to live in his current state as opposed to doing any real "work" on himself much less with me. We have regular contact and it is very good. But I am through having my life on hold while he sits and spins. I know he loves me and I love him and I will always be there for him but it has been 2 1/2 years....and I am turning 39 years old next week. I refuse to do anymore time in this prison.
I stayed long enough to be prepared so that it is not forced nor is a last resort. It is merely the next natural step in the process of my life. You must understand my story. I had a 3 year MLC and have gone above and beyond to repair the damage. I've been tested, tried by fire, humbled and raised up. I am very much aware of the blessing I have already been given, in that the fact my husband and I are even friends is nothing short of miraculous. As for the rest, I've bounced the ball to him so to speak and I am walking off the court. This battle keeps me mired in my past and the guilt that is associated with it. I will never forget the things I did nor will they ever sit well in my soul. But to make myself pay for the rest of my life is not God's will for me and standing, at this stage, is nothing more than self-punishment. After 2 1/2 years of the valley, I'm walking out by the grace of God.
I had a 3 year MLC and have gone above and beyond to repair the damage.
....
This battle keeps me mired in my past and the guilt that is associated with it. I will never forget the things I did nor will they ever sit well in my soul. But to make myself pay for the rest of my life is not God's will for me and standing, at this stage, is nothing more than self-punishment. After 2 1/2 years of the valley, I'm walking out by the grace of God.
Amy, you may be choosing to walk out... but if you think it is "by the grace/will of God"... where is the biblical justification for what you are doing?
If you are interested in what is truly God's will for you, as opposed to what you want to do for yourself.. consider this:
You "stole" 3 years of marriage from your husband.
Do you know what is written about stealing, and what God told us to do to make up for when we steal?
Last edited by Dom R; 04/27/0801:41 AM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
You "stole" 3 years of marriage from your husband.
Stealing is a conscious decision. MLC is not.
Nutty
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
You "stole" 3 years of marriage from your husband.
Do you know what is written about stealing, and what God told us to do to make up for when we steal?
(I confess I had to look it up.) "Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labour, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need".
AmyC is doing just that. She has done the hard labour and is sharing all she has learned with the many here in need.
Is that the point you were making? That she should not punish herself for "stealing" from her H?
interesting post
Nutty.
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
I stayed long enough to be prepared so that it is not forced nor is a last resort. It is merely the next natural step in the process of my life. . . . . This battle keeps me mired in my past and the guilt that is associated with it.
I don't know if I can deal with my status quo for 2.5 years, but this is the mindset that I want to achieve before I take any action to stop M (if H doesn't). I don't want to do anything as a reaction. I only want to make changes that feel like the right next step. Thank you for articulating this.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
