Are we piecing yet?

[Lanzo]

Hi Kiwi,

no much you can do about W, she's gone for now, maybe for good. All you can do now is to focus on the other important things in your life and start to rebuild from there when the time is right.


Lanzo

[kiwi000]

Hi all,
my father passed away last week, he went the way he wanted to go with family all there with him at home. He died at peace. I'm not sure if the effect of Dad dying is causing this, but I suddently feel free of WAW and I feel that I have checked out of the M. Maybe I'm in shock about Dad so I'll see how I go.

WAW turned up at the funeral and offered her company but it was the last person I wanted to grieve with. I guess that says it all.

[Lanzo]

Hi Kiwi,

May I offer my sincere condolences to you at this time.

Best not to think of W for now as you have the whole grieving process for you father to go through.

We can talk again next time you post.


Lanzo

[kiwi000]

Hi all,

I can say that while I knew Dad was sick, I was not prepared for the emotional shock of his passing, even though I knew it was coming. I'm holding it all together but I miss him dreadfully (as I guess is to be expected). All of us kids have rallied around Mum who is doing really well for someone who lost their husband of 47 years.

S3.5 asks about Grandad occasionally and told me today that he had looked up and could not see Grandad in Heaven. These poignant moments are both hard to handle but a treasure to have and we were able to talk a lot about Dad and why he was a great Dad and Grandad and that we all miss him.

In terms of WAW, there's not much to say. I have not thought about her alot, Christmas was a non-event and she refused to take part in her family's Christmas. I don't know if it was the right thing to do but I took S3.5 to see her parents (i.e my MIL and FIL) on Christmas morning before dropping S3.5 off at WAW's place. MIL and FIL were really grateful but I just don't get why WAW wants to exclude them now. I feel sad for S3.5 and for them but it has only reinforced that WAW really is not the person I married. I don't know that I can DB this one.... who is the angry, capricous, selfish women.

I don't think I'm angry anymore and I certainly don't pine for what could have been either. I feel OK about life and have a good work life balance and lots of time for our S.

WAW is moving out of her rent-free house supplied by her parents and she's angry about that.

She wanted to decide between us who got what furniture but given everything that was said at the start of the separation, I just said that her lawyer wanted it handled between counsel and that's what should happen. (not great DBing and not in line with the goals I originally set but I'm not sure I want the M anymore.... is that normal; is that usually final or is it fleeting???).

WAW was really very angry about that but I don't want to argue about posessions so whatever if fair will be fine with me. I hope I still feel that way at the end of this.

I hope you are all doing OK on your own journeys. If someone wants advice on my own experience, I'm happy to answer. I'm back with everything now.....