You may want to think about changing the titles of your new threads to "It ain't over 'til it's over!"
Well, I was very, very close to changing to the title to this thread, so it's funny that you mentioned this! If by the time I start another thread things are still going well, then I promise to change it. And I like you suggestion quite a bit!!
You may want to think about changing the titles of your new threads to "It ain't over 'til it's over!"
Well, I was very, very close to changing to the title to this thread, so it's funny that you mentioned this! If by the time I start another thread things are still going well, then I promise to change it. And I like you suggestion quite a bit!!
So, just had a few more days of pretty good progress with my wife. Don't get me wrong, there are ups and downs........
Today, as an example, we were near a certain restaurant and I said "I've heard this place is pretty good" (I've never been there), and she said "not really". OK, that set me off. Same thing happened a few days ago. I said "so you've been here too. Great. In ten years with me, raising our kids, you and I made it out maybe four times to have dinner on our own (true story) and as soon as you get rid of me, you in every restaurant in town with other men. How do you thing that makes me feel? Never wanted to go out with me, but when I'm gone, you're out three nights a week doing all the things I wanted to do with you." She basically got pissy with me, said "You're getting worked up about something that cannot be changed - so stop". BTW, about ten minutes before I suggested that she and I get a babysitter and go to dinner tonight, to which she replied "we're not there yet".
After this, I was not in my best mood, to say the least. But, 30 minutes later I did apologize to her and said that even though there are things to go over, I should not have reacted that way. Rest of the day, we were fine.
We were in a minor auto accident about three weeks ago; rear ended slowly. However, wife has had some pretty consistent back and neck pain. Over just the last couple days, she is asking/allowing me to rub her back and neck to make it feel better. Just touching her completely "arouses" me. OMG..... Anyway, just two weeks ago, she wouldn't let me touch her. Progress.
She and I spent two or three hours tonight working on our Ss11's major class project. We did this together, had some fun together, laughed at a few things, and mostly just hung out.
This is all coming back together, I'm confident of that. Our children are reacting so wonderfully to it, and I do believe that my wife is really liking the way this is going as well. I'm just being impatient I guess. At the same time, I'm also letting my hurt come through, so I need to check myself.
You are doing an amazing job. Just let her continue to set the pace, even though at times it will push your buttons. There is so much change and it is all so positive. Keep working on forgiveness, honestly, if she is in MLC you will need all of the love and patience you can muster to ride out this journey with her. (((((((hugs))))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Thanks BND.....I am having a problem with the pacesetting. I guess I want it all to happen sooner than later. No doubt. Oh yeah, and she does push my buttons.
Good sign today. She did something that was out of line, and ended up getting me a Hallmark card to make up for it, along with a "heart" on the signature line. Her way of saying she's sorry, and that she does care.
Update: Things continue to go well with my wife. Sure, we have the setbacks, the ups and downs, but I attribute that for the most part to our inability to deal with the hurt that has been done, combined with the fact that our counselor is on vacation so we haven't been to a session in almost three weeks. Yeah, lots of hurt.
I'm finding that she is focusing quite a bit on my relationship with Linda. Even though she said last year that I should go find someone else and forget about her, she doesn't seem to like the idea that I actually tried to do just that. For the most part, too damn bad; she is the one that turned her back on me and went elsewhere. I have additional info on that, but it really isn't relevant here.
She moved this week from her rental house into our "smaller" house; the one I was living in last year (been a year now since I've started posting). I'm in our bigger house around the corner.
We spend many hours a day together. Heck, it's like we're all still together, only living in different houses. I like that (not living apart, of course).
She is now letting me be more affectionate with her. I give her a hug when I leave, a small kiss on her head or cheek. That's about it for now, but I feel more is coming. We're starting to joke around about sexual stuff. I've taken a few "liberties" with my roaming hands to be truthful...... Bottom line is that all is good and getting better.
As far as the kids go, they're digging all of this. They just love all of us spending so much time together. So do I.
Once again, I'll say to anyone that thinks their situation is hopeless - IT ISN'T!!! If I can get to where I am after what has gone down, then there is hope for anyone.
By the way - I love my wife! I love my kids, and I'm feeling very good about what God has brought back into my life. I cherish this and will never again take it for granted.
On another note, just to make it better, I've got my game-face back on in terms of my work and have forged a very large investment deal with a stupidly rich business partner. We're in the process of buying large blocks for foreclosure homes from lenders at steep discounts and I spent last week on the east coast putting together a deal. For a while I got to a point where I couldn't focus ten minutes on my career and now I'm laser -focused. Good stuff!!!
