well she did respond by e-mail but it was summed up in two sentences so geberal that it made polititions look like nuns. i spoke to her after she sent it. she asked if ti was enough. i said no right away. not even close. she said do you have any questions, i said a ton. how can i get her to open up to what i need? i mean my hell its our mariage. why cant she just do what i aks her to do. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! this is so frustrating. she asked like what i gave her etamples and all she did was answer those exapmles. i really dont know all dirty little details don't mean. I WANT EVRYTHING!
sorry i am just really upset right know. thanks for letting me vent.
ok so i talk to W. i told her what i needed. i told her i know that it is humiliating but it is what i wanted and needed to forgive. she flet like we were at sq 1. i told her that we really are not. it may fel like it but i told her i woulndn't even call it a bad day. i told her that i felt 3 sentences really isn't enough.
she said that i am really enjoying this. i practically came unglued. i told how dare she think that i even for a second enjoy this. i knew that she was refurling to me making her tell me. i told her no matter what she neds to do it. i also told her to tell me like it is the first time that i found out. every little dirty detail. she told me that it will take a couple of days to do i feel better about this now.
a couple of thoughts come to my mind. we as men the trend seems for men just to suck it up and be men. i feel so wek and open for my heart to be crushed. i have never felt so helpless. any advice to make me feel like a man again?
Ive never posted on your thread before, just got reading...
Just because your a man doesn't mean you have to suck it up or get over things quickly. You take as much time as you need male or female. Everyone deals with infidelity differently. Speaking for myself, as my H was into porn just like yourself, but took it one step further and posted a naked pic of himself on adultfriendfinder... that's when I really lost it. Although I never cheated on my H because of that,I did think about leaving him. But I stayed because of my boys. looking at porn isn't a good thing, but I have learned that this was no reflection on me, it was his own insecurities. But when it happend, I certainly felt betrayed.
Forgiveness comes with time. For me, I still question everything, I just don't always act on my suspicious because sometimes they are wrong.
The only thing I can say is maybe she doesn't want to hurt you. I understand you wanting to know everything, so did I..
I hope you can hang on a little longer and work things out.
(((hugs)))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
thank you tiredandlost your soment does make me fel better. the fellings i had about being addicted to porn was over welming. my one on one C said she had a client that was both additced to both drugs and porn. the client said that giving up the durgs was hard but giving up the porn was the hardest.
I can feel for your H its hard. its everywhere, tv, movies, mags, and billboards. somedays while i was in the worst of it i felt so horrible i actually thought to just pick up and move out. i wasn't worthy of living with myself or my family. i just had a thought. i really never forgiven myself for my past actions with porn. maybe that is why i am so agery at my W.
You need to forgive yourself first off. Knowone is perfect, we all have flaws, you need to deal with why you did it and be happy that its in the past.
My H was only on once in awhile. He actually was able to look at it 24/7 because of his job, but it was enough that if effected our Relationship.
He turned to it because he didn't feel he was getting attention from me, and that is partly true. Im not an over affectionate person, and he is. He has a high drive and I don't, so this was a problem. But it was communication that was to our detriment. Instead of talking to me about it he turned to porn... so It was both our faults. I generally don't have a problem with it, I don't "like" it, but men are visual creatures and ALOT of men look at it. So really unless it is effecting your relationship I don't really have a problem with it. But because of what happend with us and what he did with his own picture, he is not aloud to have that up on our computer at ALL.
So I guess what I am saying is, you have to find out what the root of the problem was or you to turn to it... Cheating is not the answer of course no matter what happend in your R, but it does happen, and that is the effect.
I hope for you and your children's sake you are able to work through this and get back together with your W.
has she told you why she has turned to this other person?
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
