My pastor has been preaching on the fruit of the spirit for several weeks both before Easter and after. Love, Joy, and Peace before Easter and Patience and Kindness after.
I want more Joy in my life. I know that I have the love of my children, my students, my friends, and God. I am very blessed. I would like romantic love but I am willing to wait for that so that it is right this time. I believe my H will be that romantic love again. I have been feeling much more peaceful since I have just put my faith in God. My finances are getting straightened out slowly.
Patience is something I am always striving for and usually lacking. I believe I have always had kindness in my life. I am a kind person except when it comes to OW and I am still struggling there.
H and I had a long talk (1 to 1 1/2 hours on the phone). We talked about both S's and their R with H and not wanting a R with OW. We talked about many other things and he professed to wanting to put all of this behind us and start a new R with one another that would allow us to work together. We agreed that email communication was not working. This was at the end of March. I have not contacted him about anything and hoped that he would contact me when he wanted to talk. Instead he sent another email asking about one of the same issues we had already settled in our last phone conversation. Seems that he has forgotten that conversation OR could it be like a couple of my friends have said to me that H has to keep that contact with me and if it takes being a jerk to do it then that is what he will do. Both of these gals said that he is like the naughty child that does things for attention. They said he just can't live without attention from me.
I hope they are right because it does make it a little easier to deal with if it is just attention he wants and not that he really hates me.
Have a good week and pray for all of our WA's. I am praying for all of us, too.
Last edited by ANewMe; 04/08/0801:48 AM.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Another email from H today. I am not answering it. He wants exact date I am going to do something that we talked about and agreed that it might be a lengthy process but I will get it done as soon as possible. He wants me to return some money (a much smaller amount than he owes in taxes)that he gave to me 2 years ago, knowing full well I don't have it to give. He is still not helping with graduation expenses.
What a trip!! I think he is scared and doesn't dare put the blame where it lies at his and OW's feet. It doesn't stop them from spending and taking vacations. I think it is time to follow Cinder's, Holly's, and Steelersfan's lead and remain still.
Last edited by ANewMe; 04/08/0810:32 PM.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Another email today, H escalated and threatened taking me to court. I responded with as much of an answer as I had and tried to be kind. Just got more crap from him. I have decided that if he keeps emailing me after out agreement, I am just going to have to block him.
After telling me he wanted to put all of this behind us so that we could develop a new R and work together on things. Today he told me he didn't want to talk to me at all unless he absolutely had to.
It is easy for him to be hurtful with me when it is just email. When he talks to me on the phone, he can't be hurtful. In fact last time he was actually somewhat loving when he talked to me. H must be in some real financial crisis. He is not helping with any graduation for college stuff but is asking for me to return money he gave to me 2 years ago. I don't have it and I am not going to argue with him anymore.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
That is okay, I am just journaling anyway. Nothing today and I didn't have to see him either because the track meet got rained out. I was glad for two reasons. I didn't have to see H and it was cold and rainy. Where is spring????
I am praying a prayer from Charlyne Cares that is designed to pray for H and all the other prodigals. Hope it helps all of us.
Later.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
My ex won't pay for hardly anything with the kids, but he can manage to book two trips for this coming AUGUST and OCTOBER. What is up with that?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
On Monday it will be 4 years since I signed up on this board. I haven't really been posting much lately. I don't feel as if I can offer much. I still love my H and thought we were making progress. But we seem to be right back where we were before our talk. The last email he sent me said he wouldn't call me about anything because he didn't want to talk to me unless he absolutely had to. I wonder sometimes why I am still standing. I know that the reason is because I feel led to stand by the Lord.
I seem to be alienating every one lately. S21 told me last weekend he was coming home again this weekend. He didn't show or call and finally at about 4:30 this afternoon I called and ask what was going on. I think I said Hi S21, where ya at? He said still down here, then explained why. I told him I really didn't mind that he hadn't come home but I would appreciate a call when he changed his plans because I worried that he could have gotten in an accident or something. He informed me that he hadn't told me when he was coming home and he wasn't going to F'in check in with me. I was shocked by his response and said well S21 maybe you should just stay down there this weekend. He said something about that was what he was going to do then and we said good bye.
I don't know why he thinks it is alright to talk to me like that. I have never asked him to check in with me but common courtesy says that you call someone when you aren't going to show up. I am a little tired of making sacrifices for my children and then being treated poorly afterward. I overheard S18 telling his GF that she was stupid. Why are these young men being so disrespectful and what should I do about it? Have I sent a message that it is okay? I feel very emotional today and last night two. I am on the edge of tears most of the time. I took S18 to rent a tux for his GF's prom in a couple of weeks and we went to dinner. Everything just feels messed up right now. I can't really pinpoint the problem but something is very wrong.
Thanks for listening.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I think you need to chose what type of comunication with your H is best for you and stick to it. My H was abusive in e-mail I blocked him. All that happens is that when he tried to e-mail me a polite message come up ... NC is not accepting mail from you at the moment. he may, as my h did change screen names or open another account, block that too if he is rude. I have blocked my H 4 times now. He has finally learned what wil happen if he is rude and it has not been an issue for a good couple of months.
I don't normally answer my phone to h as I am so busy So, his choice is to either e-mail respectfully or there is no contact.
HIS CHOICE.
NC
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
I am going to do exactly that especially now that I have discovered that he is apparently taking me back to court. Now this puts a strain on S18's open house. When will he learn that when he attacks me it spills over on the kids.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I am going to do exactly that especially now that I have discovered that he is apparently taking me back to court. Now this puts a strain on S18's open house. When will he learn that when he attacks me it spills over on the kids.
Unfortunatly all they seem to think about is their own selfish need for attention. He will continue to do this stuff while he gets a reaction. If he gets nothing back from his bad behaviour he will eventually stop,
NC
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
I have blocked H's email address. I had blocked OW's a couple of years ago after she sent email to me bawling me out for not "dealing with the break-up of my marriage". Now they are both on the blocked list. Kind of ironic, isn't it.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
So, his choice is to either e-mail respectfully or there is no contact.