Small update: I am determined to avoid TJ at all cost. If he calls, it will go to voice mail. If he texts, I will not respond, until the next day, and it will be email. I have taken his ring off my cell phone. I have changed his calls to no ring. This will take some of the pressure off me to answer or not answer the phones.
I have had convo's with all 3 daughters this weekend, and to the best of my ability to acertain, they are clueless about recent turn of events. I count this as positive. He may be still thinking about this. On the off chance that he DID see a counselor last week, if he agrees to continue to see said counselor, or buy into what C is saying about his life......... maybe......
but I know this just gets me in trouble with expectations. I really expect him to call them maybe tonight.
He has not attempted to contact me. He is respecting my request for time to heal. That is a good thing.
Folks, this is not over.
But I think I am headed for another divorce. It will be rocky for TJ, but I will not help him with the D. Game on.
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
But I think I am headed for another divorce. It will be rocky for TJ, but I will not help him with the D.
I know you know about positive thinking. Think reconciliation instead of divorce. By focussing on the possibility of a D, you could be giving D energy. I know you want to protect yourself from feeling hurt IF things don't go the way you want them to. It's a tendency of mine too. As you know, thoughts become things. Focus more on him changing his mind again... -PH
I have been " a sad puppy " too for some time . My WAS, after 18 months apart , has now started dating a mutual friend with whom I had shared our situation . She has turned out to be a real predator and they have become hot and heavy so quickly. I have not been on the boards as I feel there is little I can do to change things. I did not reply to your messages as I felt numb for a while and could not express anything clearly. But thank you .
Like you I am trying to heal. It hurts so much to when the pain begins all over again and I know just how you feel. Your words ring so true ...Leave it in God's hands.
I just want to let you know I am sending you lots of positive thoughts and keeping you in my prayers. He is a lucky man to have you love him as you do.
point taken, but need to protect myself while I gain even better perspective.
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
It won't last Bis. I am in the same situation myself. I am struggling with forgiving OW for the hurt she has caused me and especially my children. There are some real rotten selfish women out there who have never learned boundaries. It hurts even more when you have been betrayed by two people you were close to.
Take care,
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I think TJ took his first bounce on the bottom.......he opened up to his sister the day after I got bomb #2.....lots of crying, and sincere efforts to get counseling.....and now he is invisible.
she said all the right things......
such as "I will never know if another woman will love you for you, but I know Holly does....its the real thing."
I believe this is possible because I am openly trusting God. I will go where He leads me, and I trust Him unconditionally. The biggest struggle I had was not contacting his sister, because I know her best guidance comes from God, and she and I both believe in TJ as a better man.....She is the first one to tell me that God gave her the immage of TJ, on the bottom, a mess. He also let her know that TJ will go to heaven. I think this means TJ will find his spirit and it will take him to where God wants him to be.
Praying and Letting Go,,,,,,,,, I hope this is meaningful to YOU.
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
and looking forward to part 2 !! Just as soon as Family Guy is over!!