Prior to the beginning of this month, my H and I had been S'ed since summer 2005. Lots of waffling occurred - one month H would say that he wanted to work things out, then the next month, he didn't care anymore. It went on and on like this from the day the bomb dropped (Jan 05/EA) all the way until the very beginning of this month (Mar 08). I had more than enough of the neverending ambivalence, so I finally put my foot down and said if he didn't want a D, he would have to move back in immediately. No more his place, her place. There would only be OUR place, and we would have to deal with our M issues TOGETHER. No more running away from the faintest sign of trouble in the R.
Honestly, I thought the day would never come, but it did. My H returned for the first time in nearly 3 years on March 4, 2008. The day before my birthday.
These last few weeks have not been an easy cakewalk as this is a huge adjustment for us both. We have had some bad moments - never bad days as I don't believe in such things - and we have managed to get through them without any real damage remaining. There is no anger, resentment, or bitterness. Only hope remains for the future. OUR future together.
Never blame. Never assume. Never go to bed angry. Never give up.
Always be kind. Always be patient. Always love unconditionally. Always smile . Always hold on to hope for it is always there.
Last edited by GoingForward; 03/28/0806:50 PM.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Yes, everything is here! He brought over the last of his things on Wednesday, except for his bed. That's perfectly fine with me, and he said he was just going to leave it with his friend who owns the place.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Thank you, klm! Friday was just what the doctor ordered! However, I mixed my alcohol - should've known better than that . H called twice while I was gone. I didn't respond to his first call - didn't hear my phone ring - but replied to his second message which was a TM that said, "ILY, (GF)". I replied, "I luv u 2", then called him when I was on my way back. He stayed on the phone with me until I reached Cowtown (nickname for where I live). When I got home, he hugged and kissed me, saying how much he missed me that evening.
Saturday was kind of tough, especially at work, since I had a bit of a hangover ! H jokingly said, "That's what you get for not listening to me and not taking any Motrin last night before bed!" I said I didn't remember him saying that. He said alcohol will do that to you. Wise guy .
Today, I am feeling even worse. My allergies are so bad right now, and I have a massive sinus headache as well as a scratchy sore throat! The Claritin is letting me down big time, and I don't feel like going to the store for any Sudafed - the only OTC drug that helps me. I probably will go, but right now, I really just don't feel like it. Maybe H will call on his way home from work and ask me if I need anything.
Ok, I'm done whining....for now.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Just wanted to add that H believes I do not have a sinus headache. He said it's probably still the warm shot of Patron ( I had just picked it up for my sis) I had Friday night upon arriving at my sister's house. I downed it on an empty stomach.
NOT a very wise thing to do.
Last edited by GoingForward; 03/30/0811:45 PM.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Noticed something when H returned home last night.
He first came home right after work to change into his soccer uniform. Unfortunately since I was sick, I didn't go.
Anyway, he called me up after his game was over and said he was going to have some beers with the guys if I was alright with that. I said of course, have a good time!
He got home around 10pm or so, then we proceeded to get ready for bed. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when H came up from behind, put his arms around me, and gave me a hug and a kiss on my neck. I gave him a smile, then looked down at his hands and saw that he had his wedding band on !
H has been home for nearly a month now, and we haven't had any discussions about whether or not to start wearing our rings again and/or how we felt about it.
I was very surprised to see that he had it on, and actually a bit happy about it.
Well, I didn't bring up what I noticed to H's attention. We just went to bed. This morning, I pulled out my wedding ring from where it's been kept for the last few years and just looked at it for a while.
I used to love that ring and everything it represented. But looking at it now, I still like it, but I feel it represents a time I do not want to go back to. A lot of pain I would soon rather forget.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Wow GF, that is great! That really is a huge step.
Ok, here is my 2 cents on the wedding rings. And you can disagree with me if you like...just a pet peeve of mine on these boards. I read so much about people getting new wedding rings or wanting new rings because they want it to represent a new beginning...while I understand that...I don't agree with it.
I think they represent how strong you are as a couple to have overcome that bad part. You didn't give up, you worked through it. We said for better or worse...that just happened to be the worst...and you worked through it. That pain is a part of your marriage and you two loved each other enough to work through it. Rather than reminding you of the pain it should remind you of the love it took to work through it. It should remind you of how strong both you and your H are. Anyway, that is just how I feel about it.
Not because of my sitch though - because it's Friday! And I'm going to my sister's party tonight! WOO HOO!!!
. H called twice while I was gone. I didn't respond to his first call - didn't hear my phone ring - but replied to his second message which was a TM that said, "ILY, (GF)". I replied, "I luv u 2", then called him when I was on my way back. He stayed on the phone with me until I reached Cowtown (nickname for where I live). When I got home, he hugged and kissed me, saying how much he missed me that evening.
! H jokingly said, "That's what you get for not listening to me and not taking any Motrin last night before bed!" I said I didn't remember him saying that. He said alcohol will do that to you. Wise guy 
.
The Claritin is letting me down big time, and I don't feel like going to the store for any Sudafed - the only OTC drug that helps me. I probably will go, but right now, I really just don't feel like it. Maybe H will call on his way home from work and ask me if I need anything. 
!