sig other bday on 4 april

[buenosuerte]

I'm not sure how to go at this point. every year my h has a huge bday party, i'm sure he will have one this year as well. do i send him a card or do nothing?

Here's the sitch:

Been together for about 2 years, moved in quickly after meeting and a few months later we were trying to get pregnat 12 mos later our d now 6.5 months old is her. during my preg i had 3 deaths in my family, my gpa, mother and father all passes away while i was trying to NOT to have miscarriage with all the stress and dispair. we seperated a few times during that period and come back together for d's birth. he lived with us for a few weeks after that and has been gone now 6 mos. during seperation we used to talk, now NOTHING. he says he's angry, doesn't look at me the same, tells me to do nothing, let him come to me, all the while he doesn't visit with his daughter. in 6 mos he's seen her about 20 times, says he can't go into the home we shared together, can't have me at his house, (daughter is breast fed and won't take bottle) we've made agreements about money, none of which he has kept, agreed to have my teaching contract broken so i can stay home with our daughter and he was going to provide for us, none of it is happening but a few times. i've done the letters, crying all of it, some has made it so we'd talk and work on things but it gets going to fast and his mother chimes in with her opinion. i made it clear when we were trying to get divorced that i was not going to have another child unless both parents raise it together no matter what. I have another daughter 16 from previous marriage and she's all messed up with the both house traveling and custody, etc...i'm trying to believe what my heart says that he will come back if i back off enough but have so many pending sitch going on. i'm going ot have to return to work in a few months, sign a contract, move, get rid of my dogs, put our daughter in daycare(i'm totally opposed-hate the thought and have so much guilt around it) in probate over 1 of my mother's home, it just goes on. i don't have any friends no support whatsoever and don't know which way to turn.

[HOPEFULinCALI]

Buenos,

I noticed that you posted your sitch elsewhere on this WAS forum with one notable difference. In your other post you said he wanted to work it out now he is angry at you. Did he suddenly change or did I misread one of your post. I responded to you there.

All the best.

[buenosuerte]

The last time we were "together" was the week of valentines day. We spent like 5 days together as a couple spending the nights together speaking thru the day. it all fell apart when i got into an arguement with his mother- he was supposed to watch our d 6mos, os i could sub but again chose work over caring for her, i blew up at his mom. we didn't speak for a couple of weeks, i went to his house, told him i couldn't take it anymore, told him i was looking for teaching job in my other d16 state- he was like no don't go if you stay we can work it out, all the while he's supposed to pay us $ to live off of- a decision we mad in jan to let me go of my teaching contract. we seem to go back and forth, the last contact i told him i went to file paperwork for child support (yeah wrong reasons)that he made a promise to give us $ for food, utilities etc. and doesn't-always claimed he has to pay something else not related to home or family, the last thing he did was ask for my new phone number and said let me come to you, you don't do anything let me come to you. what the heck am i supposed to do with that. i mean i read into it like he's going to come back at me and pursue me? take it as he needs some space? sort things out? get over his anger? i can only guess what he would say he is angry at an arguement we will never solve-him leaving and walking away or me kicking him out, i even told him we would never agree on that and just had to let it go. the more i think about it, i don't think he's angry at me more at himself. he admits he doesn't know what to do, admits he feels like he's ruined my life, etc. (he feels that way because when we met, i was in my career just finished my masters degree, had a life and he has take so much from me, eventually iw ill have to put my dogs down, repo my car, etc) my responses to him have always been well you have the power to not ruin it. i don't want to work, i want to be a mom to our d, something i did not get to do with my other d(previous marriage)so i think he has turned his angry he has for himself on me. boy i think i just wrote a short book to your question, sorry if it is confusing.