Sometimes it seems like the ow won it all. She gets my man AND (more importantly) time with D4. Or, maybe she just won time with my D but H is no prize after all???.. hmmm....
Life just seems to get more complicated every week even though the divorce should be final within a couple of months. I am no longer denying that it is going to happen although H hasn't stopped waffling.. Sometimes still almost coming out and saying that he wants to try again; but, his actions always tell the whole story. He's still with the ow and that suits him just fine. Although, he hasn't moved all the way out, he spends little time at home. Those days he is away have become, in fact, a relief for me.
Of course, time away from D4 sends me into a panic but I'm coping the best I can. There are even days when I can say that I'm almost back to my old self again.. And, that feels soooo good... To laugh again.. wow.. at one point, I never thought I would. It just goes to show you that somehow we actually DO survive
LO, No one is the winner. OW may think she is but she isn't. She may think your H is the prize, but maybe he's really a booby prize. Time will tell. She's been pursuing a fantasy for awhile, life isn't "happily ever after."
I know I'm not anywhere near the same sitch as you, but you're certainly in my thoughts. You've been calm and strong through this. You can certainly hold your head up high because of that.
I know it's nice to be able to laugh again. One point it didn't seem possible, did it? Life goes on no matter what. Keep on smiling...
Hi Olive..I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I just today said the same thing. That the OW won and got her way. This is what she wanted, she even told me so last week.Part of me tried and tried to hold on and look the other way and i believed his lies time and again. But finally we reach a point and maybe sometimes as hard as it is to accept we realize maybe this is how it's meant to be, maybe we weren't so happy after all, hurts though i know. Just stay strong!! I need to do the same thing. The reality of it is starting to hit me like a ton of bricks.
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
I haven't posted to you before, but reading this has got me thinking. The hardest part must be her spending time with your D. That is something I have refused to think about in the big picture if my H does end up leaving. I have read your previous thread and you are being so strong and doing such a great job. Keep your head up, D knows how wonderful her mommy is.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I agree with you Neecy..The idea of my girls being around the OW drive me nuts. I already told H that if he wants to see the girls he'll have to come here and I'll leave until we work out formal arrangements. But my girls are older and my oldest wants to call the OW and tell her off.
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
My "sitch" was VERY similiar to this. I hold on to my H, until he "wants" to come back says it's over with OW... until she's pregnant and the last X amount of months in my life come tumbling down to nothing more that lies.
You seem very brave and strong, I am/was/and probably will be a wreck for awhile longer. You should be proud. The thought of my two precious little girls around the OW drives me up the WALL... that's most of the problem.
It always seems sooo tempting to call, write, e-mail (however) to tell off the OW. But that always makes the sitch worse, trust me I know. It's best to keep your nose out and avoid more fighting as much as possible. She isn't winning you are, you realize how strong you are. She may have won the battle, but I bet you'll win the war. That's what I have to tell myself everyday! Try it on for size.
The thought of my two precious little girls around the OW drives me up the WALL... that's most of the problem.
I completely agree. It has definately become more about losing time with my baby than about losing H. Funny how that changes over time...
And, about winning the war, Emily.. One of my friend's H's said the same thing to me... How he's seen so many of these types of situations turn out for the good of the LBS.. Hmmm....
Went house hunting again today. I am sooooooooo ready to move on, up, and out. I feel like once I get my very own place again that I will be able to settle in and this horrible feeling of being in limbo will finally be over.
Good for you, that's a great thing. Once you can get settled into YOUR life you will feel better. I was just saying that on my thread. I had to relearn how to live MY life. I had to learn that this time without him wasn't the "inbetween" or the "until we're back together" IT WAS MY LIFE and I was watching it pass me by!! He is not part of my life right now, maybe someday, somehow. That's the hard part.
Once you get yourself settled, he can "work into it"!!!
